Honor Among Women...

The word "honor" means "High respect, as that shown for special merit; esteem".
Back in the day, I was one of those women who claimed to be more comfortable with my male friends than any of my female friends.
Women made me uncomfortable.
I didn't like to be around women much but in the company of men, I felt right at home.
I was even known to say that men made better friends than women because women were catty, untrustworthy and full of drama.
Hmm.
But my attitude began to change when I found myself being given a helping hand by woman...after woman..
After woman.
The nurse who came to my room when I was a brand new mom, scared senseless, who reassured me and cheerfully doted over my beautiful son.
The stay-at-home mom who offered to watch an infant Matthew for $50 a week because that was all I could afford at the time.
The friend who bought baby clothes and planned my baby shower.
The friends who came to birthday party after birthday party.
All women.


I had a choice to make.


It was time I ended my beef with women.


When I sat down and talked to these various women that I met, they weren't very different than me.
They were just as busy as I was, if not busier, although some had husbands and I did not.
But yet and still, although our circumstances weren't exactly the same, they knew what it felt like to be tired from a life with a new baby and working full time. They honored me.
They respected me even though at one time in my life, I'd dishonored them with my terrible attitude.


There's a lot going on in our society today and relationship related issues are hot topics and best sellers.
But what about the topic of honor among women?
Could it be that after years of pain and disrespect we ourselves have taken on the attributes of the hurt and pain we despise the most?
We turn a blind eye to the plight of other women. 
We scorn and criticize.
We blame.
We justify our callousness.
We close up the doors of our compassion.


But I'm reminded that in my darkest hours it wasn't the arms of a man or the ears of a man that brought wisdom, comfort and strength to me.
It was a woman.
It was a woman who showed me how to quiet my crying infant son.
It was a woman who took care of my children for virtual pennies so that I could continue to work and earn a living.
It is women who support my goals, dreams, and aspirations today.
It is women who pray that I'll succeed because I speak for and to them.


I want honor among women to return.


I want the days of making sure a fellow woman always had a helping hand because we know what it feels like to hurt and struggle to return.
I want the days of women honoring women to return because we know the pain of broken families, ripped apart by infidelity.
We know.
We've lived it.
We've witnessed it.
And sometimes, we've even been the cause.
But just like one day, I looked up and realized that the women I hated were not "those" women, but that "She:" was "Me"
I pray that all who read will have such an awakening in their own lives.
Honestly, when I said I preferred friendships with men over women, I was speaking from a place of brokenness. 
Instead of saying, "I don't like them", I should have said, "I don't like me".
I bring drama.
I'm catty.
I'm not easy to talk to or be around.
That would have been the truth.
Since I became a mom, I have been blessed to meet a variety of women from all walks of life, married, single, young and old, rich and not-so-rich...right and wrong side of the tracks. Religious and non religious. Christian and Muslim. Divorced and single.
All kinds. 
And the one thing I appreciate most about all of these connections is this:
There is honor among us because to be a woman requires a strength a man will never know.
But all women will.
We cannot expect for any man to respect a woman we ourselves disrespect, whether that woman is your neighbor, coworker, or the woman in the mirror.
This isn't about being classy.
This is about being honorable.


This about remembering that She is Me and loving her.