As you can see, it's late and I'm up, battling cold symptoms. That's one thing about colds: they totally take over your life and change how you go about business!
I'm no stranger to upper respiratory infections but my decision to tackle them, minus antibiotics has been tough. First of all, I'm tough as shoe leather when it comes to pain so I was up for the challenge but I must say, the thing that is always the most difficult to deal with is the physical sense of weakness. I'm winded. Walking across the floor makes my heart pound. I feel like I'm in slow motion.
At times, I feel weak.
But the thought came to me, "when I am weak, then I am strong". I know this is a slight variation of scripture but I'll explain. As a relatively young and healthy woman, my symptoms are significant and cause me to have to rest and move slowly, but they are all normal for a body doing what it was designed to do. "I will praise you o Lord, for I am fearfully and wonderfully made", comes to mind. My fever has been as high as 101 but that too is also normal. Whereas my body appears to be weak, there's actually a rather elaborate and intense battle being waged against the invading bacteria (or virus) and my immune system. I feel tired but there's a part of my body that is constantly working, sending white blood cells out to attack the invading germ. I may feel sluggish, but there's nothing sluggish about my body temperature that keeps rising and falling to burn away the bacteria that do not belong there.
As I stated previously, you can learn a lot from a cold.
Lord knows I am. So I'm doing my best to send in reinforcements to help my body fight. I'm consuming vitamin C, eating fresh fruits and veggies, drinking liquids, sleeping, etc. There have been a couple of really intense days where I nearly broke down and called a doctor, particularly when my breathing became labored. But the key is to not panic when things get a little rocky. I remind myself that I am young and healthy. My body is doing what it was designed to do. The coughing expels the virus. The runny nose does the same. The fever has the germs in a pressure cooker.
Isn't God amazing?!
I know it's a little weird but I'm actually quite fascinated by this cold. I understand that we live in a fast paced society that only gives you 24 hrs to get over the flu, so that's why we practically drive our cars through the windows of our doctors offices. But the truth of the matter is that with a little discomfort (I've been taking ibuprofen to minimize any major discomfort) the human body was designed to heal itself.
I've also been doing warm salt water nasal flushes. Now THAT is the most unpleasant part. But once I saw what was actually making me so stuffy and contributing to my infection, I GLADLY continued. My sense of smell comes in and out but with the flushes, it relieves the sinus pressure.
So, it's going to take a little time. Upper respiratory infections can take as long as a month to completely clear, however most healthy adults are functional way before then. I'm no medical expert though. Don't sit at home with pneumonia because you claim I said so. No ma'am. No sir. lol! My family is monitoring my health and ask for a daily progress report. We all know that if certain symptoms persist or intensify, medical treatment will be sought. So, for those thinking I'm playing a dangerous game of chicken with my health, I'm not. I've dealt with such infections all my life and pretty much know how it goes. I just got tired of being prescribed antibiotics over and over and then dealing with those side effects! So I'm taking a more preventive, natural approach.
There is a great line of herbal tea called Yogi that I plan to review just as soon as I'm able to make it to EarthFare to buy it. It tastes like liquid dirt but will cure what ails you if you drink it several times a day. I've used it before but I don't have any on hand. But lesson learned. An ounce of prevention is worth a pound of cure, right? I decree and declare NOW that my household will make it through the winter healthy and strong. We will have a plan. We will support our immune systems. And what we can't do, GOD HIMSELF will do!
Night night to all my late night readers. Hopefully, tomorrow will be a much healthier day!
Wednesday, August 31, 2011
Monday, August 29, 2011
They Say I'm Angry...
They say I'm angry.
They say I'm always rolling my eyes, and snappin my fingers
Sucking my teeth and stomping my feet
They say I'm angry.
Never scared to fight
Earrings always unclasped
Ready to whoop somebody's ass-umption.
They tell me I'm angry.
They say I can't keep my own man and if I do get a man
I'll run him off and turn him into an international, multicultural man.
They say I'm angry.
My blood boils, my jaw's tight
I'm always looking and ready for a fight
I'll snatch off my weave and yours too
I'll put your business in the streets and his too
I can't be trusted
I don't work
I lay around and make babies that no one wants to raise
Including me.
They tell me I'm angry.
They call me b*tch and I agree.
I call my girlfriends by this name.
I guess I'm like a pitbull in heat
To them.
They tell me I'm angry
I've been so burned in the past that I've forgotten about my future
And that I unjustly hold the next man accountable for the last man's sins
But no one cares that when the last man was committing his sins
You were his best friend
You were his alibi and you supported his lies
You gave him rides
You let him hide
Out in your crib, your house with his other lady
But that's right
I was too busy being angry
To know this.
And if all of my sisters are angry
Then what does that make all of you brothers?
Co conspirators to a generational crime of neglect?
If all of my sisters are angry
Then what does that say of you, my neighbor?
If you took the time to talk to me
You wouldn't see anger
Just anger
Only anger
You'd see an ocean, no, a sea of emotions from me.
You'd see the woman I want to be yearning to be free
From bondage laid on my shoulders by my ancestry
And assumptions.
You'd see that I'm no different that any other woman on this earth
Tired of paying for the sins of Eve in every relationship I meet
Tired of being blamed for every societal woe
Tired of being a man's foe
I'm just like every other woman, who feels twenty pounds too heavy
Who feels blamed and accused
Who feels labeled and misused.
I started out thinking it was just about my brown skin.
But the truth of the matter is...
You have a problem
With the woman within.
They say I'm always rolling my eyes, and snappin my fingers
Sucking my teeth and stomping my feet
They say I'm angry.
Never scared to fight
Earrings always unclasped
Ready to whoop somebody's ass-umption.
They tell me I'm angry.
They say I can't keep my own man and if I do get a man
I'll run him off and turn him into an international, multicultural man.
They say I'm angry.
My blood boils, my jaw's tight
I'm always looking and ready for a fight
I'll snatch off my weave and yours too
I'll put your business in the streets and his too
I can't be trusted
I don't work
I lay around and make babies that no one wants to raise
Including me.
They tell me I'm angry.
They call me b*tch and I agree.
I call my girlfriends by this name.
I guess I'm like a pitbull in heat
To them.
They tell me I'm angry
I've been so burned in the past that I've forgotten about my future
And that I unjustly hold the next man accountable for the last man's sins
But no one cares that when the last man was committing his sins
You were his best friend
You were his alibi and you supported his lies
You gave him rides
You let him hide
Out in your crib, your house with his other lady
But that's right
I was too busy being angry
To know this.
And if all of my sisters are angry
Then what does that make all of you brothers?
Co conspirators to a generational crime of neglect?
If all of my sisters are angry
Then what does that say of you, my neighbor?
If you took the time to talk to me
You wouldn't see anger
Just anger
Only anger
You'd see an ocean, no, a sea of emotions from me.
You'd see the woman I want to be yearning to be free
From bondage laid on my shoulders by my ancestry
And assumptions.
You'd see that I'm no different that any other woman on this earth
Tired of paying for the sins of Eve in every relationship I meet
Tired of being blamed for every societal woe
Tired of being a man's foe
I'm just like every other woman, who feels twenty pounds too heavy
Who feels blamed and accused
Who feels labeled and misused.
I started out thinking it was just about my brown skin.
But the truth of the matter is...
You have a problem
With the woman within.
"I'm Sorry"
The Diary Of a Baby Mama has officially hit its first milestone of 100 posts!
When I started this blog late last year, I didn't know where it would go. All I knew was that God was prompting me to write and that I must be obedient.
The wealth of wisdom, insight, and healing that has poured from these posts since I started has been amazing.
GOD is amazing.
Little becomes much when you place it in His hands.
So to mark my 100th post, I'm not going to be before you long (smile). I just want to encourage you to obey the voice of the Lord in your own life. Not everyone will understand and most times, you won't even see the full picture. But trust His leading. He's already been where you're about to go and He is FAITHFUL.
Here's to 100 more posts, 100 times more wisdom, insight revelation and healing.
To celebrate, here's a look back at a post that touched so many of you. It also happens to be one of my favorites. -Mel
Wars, divorces, family feuds, and split churches have all come about because one or more parties refused to utter these two simple words: "I'm sorry". I can't help but tell you how amazed I am by the power resident within those two words. I'm amazed at how many offenses I've personally been willing to remit simply because someone said them sincerely, and without delay. Still reeling from the blow or bleeding from the cut, I've heard my own voice say, "It's ok" or "that's alright, don't worry about it", all because someone said "I'm sorry".
Let me just be truthful here. The word "sorry" is something I'm quite familiar with. As a child, it was a requirement and it was demanded of us. If you offended either or both of my parents at any time, an "I'm sorry" was required. I know how to apologize as a subordinate. What I wasn't as familiar with was watching those in authority over me exercise this same ability to utter these two simple words.
What does it do to a child to see a parent who refuses to apologize when they know (and God too) that they were clearly in the wrong, and not the child? What does it do to a child who sees a parent ignore their own guilt and instead punish them?
Well since we're all being so honest here, I'll tell you what it does, from my perspective. It undermines the very foundation of respect that a parent works so hard to build. When a parent refuses to apologize, it sets up an impression in a child's mind that authority operates without accountability and respect for those under the power of their authority.
Oh, and that's another new word that I'd like to introduce to this conversation: RESPECT.
That's a word that I grew up understanding. Respect was demanded when it could not be commanded. Respect was a serious matter and the lack of it was a sign of defiance.
But what does it tell a child when they must respect but be disrespected?
What does it say to children who must reverence authority that has so little regard for them?
Respect has never been the issue in most of our lives. It is MUTUAL respect that causes us to stumble.
It never occurred to some of us that mutual respect was both appropriate, needed and GODLY. Parents respecting their children? Wow.What a peculiar concept!
But it's something that I'm learning daily that is vital to both natural and spiritual productivity.
Last night, I had a decision to make. As a mother, I was within my "motherly rights" to correct my daughter. She had disobeyed me and after repeated (usually 2-3 times) demands on my part that she stop what she was doing, I reacted in a way that I knew was not right.
Now, let me just say this for the benefit of all readers and mommies for whom I am particularly burdened. There are many things that we have the "right" to do as parents. Our cultures condone it. Our family backgrounds endorse it and even our relatives insist on it. But one thing I must say is that as a woman BRAND NEW to the world of parenting; no babysitting experience, no small children in my company, no nieces or nephews, the knowledge I do have regarding parenting came solely from God Almighty. And I must say, He's done a FINE JOB of guiding me in the way that I should go with raising them. But last night,I transgressed against Him. My culture, my society and my parenting 101 books all backed me up in my response to my daughter. But my spirit was grieved.
After about 10 minutes, I went back into my childrens' room, picked Caitlyn up out of her crib and held her. I told her in her ear, "I'm sorry. Mommy's sorry". Soon Matthew crawled out of his bed, and I apologized to him too. I apologized to him because he was a witness to mommy responding inappropriately to his sister's bad behavior. He said, "It's ok mommy". And immediately my mind went back to the love I had and have for my parents. Despite their flaws, as a child, they were my biggest heroes. Despite their bad days with short tempers, I loved them. When they calmed down and were in a better mood, I loved them. It was ok because even though their words may not have said, "I'm sorry", their next hug was enough for me.
But what a gift it is to say the words.
I want my children to know that authority is not an iron fist but a warm wing of safety. I want them to know that they are respected. Should a three year old and four year old child be respected? Absolutely, before they were in my womb, they were in the presence of Almighty God. I am their earthly mother but He is their Heavenly Father, as He is mine. And one day, their love and devotion will return to Him, as it should.
God doesn't rule us with fear, but with His unfailing love. We don't believe that love has the ability to correct, to chasten and to instill. I see the look in my son's eyes when he feels he has disappointed me and how he breathes a little sigh of relief when he comes tentatively for a hug and I take him in my arms, no punishment attached. Grace and mercy. What an abiding gift that is presented to us new every morning by our Heavenly Father and is given to us to share with our fellow man.
It wasn't common or even recommended that those in authority apologize to those beneath them in my life. It would undermine their position and eat away at their authority like termites.
But little did we know that it wasn't the words "I'm sorry" that exposed our foundations to decay but our inability to confess our faults one to another.
Mommy isn't always right. Some decisions are bad. Some comments need to be stricken from the record. Some actions need to be acknowledged and atoned for. But it amazes me every time I hear the words "It's OK" after the words "I'm sorry" are extended.
There are those in my circle of influence who do not agree with the way I parent my children. They believe I should take a more heavy handed approach. Meanwhile, I'm anxious to see and to hear exactly what gift these two unique spiritual beings bring to the world with their presence. That is the mutual respect I'm talking about. They have a destiny to fulfill, just like I do. And even though I'm 32 yrs in and they're only 3 and 4 yrs in, it doesn't make their assignment any less significant than mine.
Understanding that parenting is one of the most challenging assignments there is can be half the battle. Doing what is right for your child or children may put you at odds with years of family traditions and sentiments. But that is the calling. Embrace it.
Prayer Point: Father, help us to understand how grace and mercy operate to our advantage as parents and to not be afraid to extend it to our children, as you so freely extend it to us. Help us to respect our children as gifts from you and souls that you have given into our care temporarily as you guide them to their destiny and purpose in You. May we understand that our authority is not a dictatorship but a responsibility to seek You first and relay Your instructions to those You've placed under us. May we walk in love and hold in high esteem and trust the love and devotion of our chldren to us.
When I started this blog late last year, I didn't know where it would go. All I knew was that God was prompting me to write and that I must be obedient.
The wealth of wisdom, insight, and healing that has poured from these posts since I started has been amazing.
GOD is amazing.
Little becomes much when you place it in His hands.
So to mark my 100th post, I'm not going to be before you long (smile). I just want to encourage you to obey the voice of the Lord in your own life. Not everyone will understand and most times, you won't even see the full picture. But trust His leading. He's already been where you're about to go and He is FAITHFUL.
Here's to 100 more posts, 100 times more wisdom, insight revelation and healing.
To celebrate, here's a look back at a post that touched so many of you. It also happens to be one of my favorites. -Mel
Wars, divorces, family feuds, and split churches have all come about because one or more parties refused to utter these two simple words: "I'm sorry". I can't help but tell you how amazed I am by the power resident within those two words. I'm amazed at how many offenses I've personally been willing to remit simply because someone said them sincerely, and without delay. Still reeling from the blow or bleeding from the cut, I've heard my own voice say, "It's ok" or "that's alright, don't worry about it", all because someone said "I'm sorry".
Let me just be truthful here. The word "sorry" is something I'm quite familiar with. As a child, it was a requirement and it was demanded of us. If you offended either or both of my parents at any time, an "I'm sorry" was required. I know how to apologize as a subordinate. What I wasn't as familiar with was watching those in authority over me exercise this same ability to utter these two simple words.
What does it do to a child to see a parent who refuses to apologize when they know (and God too) that they were clearly in the wrong, and not the child? What does it do to a child who sees a parent ignore their own guilt and instead punish them?
Well since we're all being so honest here, I'll tell you what it does, from my perspective. It undermines the very foundation of respect that a parent works so hard to build. When a parent refuses to apologize, it sets up an impression in a child's mind that authority operates without accountability and respect for those under the power of their authority.
Oh, and that's another new word that I'd like to introduce to this conversation: RESPECT.
That's a word that I grew up understanding. Respect was demanded when it could not be commanded. Respect was a serious matter and the lack of it was a sign of defiance.
But what does it tell a child when they must respect but be disrespected?
What does it say to children who must reverence authority that has so little regard for them?
Respect has never been the issue in most of our lives. It is MUTUAL respect that causes us to stumble.
It never occurred to some of us that mutual respect was both appropriate, needed and GODLY. Parents respecting their children? Wow.What a peculiar concept!
But it's something that I'm learning daily that is vital to both natural and spiritual productivity.
Last night, I had a decision to make. As a mother, I was within my "motherly rights" to correct my daughter. She had disobeyed me and after repeated (usually 2-3 times) demands on my part that she stop what she was doing, I reacted in a way that I knew was not right.
Now, let me just say this for the benefit of all readers and mommies for whom I am particularly burdened. There are many things that we have the "right" to do as parents. Our cultures condone it. Our family backgrounds endorse it and even our relatives insist on it. But one thing I must say is that as a woman BRAND NEW to the world of parenting; no babysitting experience, no small children in my company, no nieces or nephews, the knowledge I do have regarding parenting came solely from God Almighty. And I must say, He's done a FINE JOB of guiding me in the way that I should go with raising them. But last night,I transgressed against Him. My culture, my society and my parenting 101 books all backed me up in my response to my daughter. But my spirit was grieved.
After about 10 minutes, I went back into my childrens' room, picked Caitlyn up out of her crib and held her. I told her in her ear, "I'm sorry. Mommy's sorry". Soon Matthew crawled out of his bed, and I apologized to him too. I apologized to him because he was a witness to mommy responding inappropriately to his sister's bad behavior. He said, "It's ok mommy". And immediately my mind went back to the love I had and have for my parents. Despite their flaws, as a child, they were my biggest heroes. Despite their bad days with short tempers, I loved them. When they calmed down and were in a better mood, I loved them. It was ok because even though their words may not have said, "I'm sorry", their next hug was enough for me.
But what a gift it is to say the words.
I want my children to know that authority is not an iron fist but a warm wing of safety. I want them to know that they are respected. Should a three year old and four year old child be respected? Absolutely, before they were in my womb, they were in the presence of Almighty God. I am their earthly mother but He is their Heavenly Father, as He is mine. And one day, their love and devotion will return to Him, as it should.
God doesn't rule us with fear, but with His unfailing love. We don't believe that love has the ability to correct, to chasten and to instill. I see the look in my son's eyes when he feels he has disappointed me and how he breathes a little sigh of relief when he comes tentatively for a hug and I take him in my arms, no punishment attached. Grace and mercy. What an abiding gift that is presented to us new every morning by our Heavenly Father and is given to us to share with our fellow man.
It wasn't common or even recommended that those in authority apologize to those beneath them in my life. It would undermine their position and eat away at their authority like termites.
But little did we know that it wasn't the words "I'm sorry" that exposed our foundations to decay but our inability to confess our faults one to another.
Mommy isn't always right. Some decisions are bad. Some comments need to be stricken from the record. Some actions need to be acknowledged and atoned for. But it amazes me every time I hear the words "It's OK" after the words "I'm sorry" are extended.
There are those in my circle of influence who do not agree with the way I parent my children. They believe I should take a more heavy handed approach. Meanwhile, I'm anxious to see and to hear exactly what gift these two unique spiritual beings bring to the world with their presence. That is the mutual respect I'm talking about. They have a destiny to fulfill, just like I do. And even though I'm 32 yrs in and they're only 3 and 4 yrs in, it doesn't make their assignment any less significant than mine.
Understanding that parenting is one of the most challenging assignments there is can be half the battle. Doing what is right for your child or children may put you at odds with years of family traditions and sentiments. But that is the calling. Embrace it.
Prayer Point: Father, help us to understand how grace and mercy operate to our advantage as parents and to not be afraid to extend it to our children, as you so freely extend it to us. Help us to respect our children as gifts from you and souls that you have given into our care temporarily as you guide them to their destiny and purpose in You. May we understand that our authority is not a dictatorship but a responsibility to seek You first and relay Your instructions to those You've placed under us. May we walk in love and hold in high esteem and trust the love and devotion of our chldren to us.
Monday, August 22, 2011
The Safety Zone...
We are creatures of habit and most of us would be completely lost if even the slightest deviation happened to our daily routine. As a mom, I'm used to operating under a constant level of stress and pressure. I haven't been completely relaxed since my last epidural. Ever since I became aware of my new responsibility as a parent, I've been running on 10 ever since.
Parenting isn't for wimps my friends and it certainly isn't for the selfish people of the world either.
So yea, I know what it's like to feel pressure and have to perform while it's getting hotter and tighter all around me.
I know what it's like to have two cases of stomach flu to deal with all at one time. Well, it would really be three cases, if I counted myself but I didn't because my symptoms had to be shelved for their sake.
I know what it's like to be tired but unable to sleep. I know what it's like to work a 12 hour shift with less than two hours of sleep.
I know what a lot of things are like.
But there's one thing that I've learned over the years that's so very important.
Everyone need a safety zone.
Everyone should have a place they can go and call a time-out.
I'm not saying that I have circumstances which afford me the opportunity to drop everything and attend to my own needs. But I thank God that I do have authentically loving friends and family around me who wouldn't ignore me if I said, "Hey gang. I'm on the ledge and I really don't know how much more I can take".
I can't tell you how vital that is.
There are so many people who know they can't say that to anyone. They feel as if they're the heartbeat of so many people's lives. If they quit, then the whole operation falls apart.
I had to learn really quickly that taking a break is far less devastating than leaving the field of play altogether.
:Last year, I battled a severe case of vertigo. It came out of nowhere. I woke up one morning feeling dizzy and slightly nauseous and before I knew it, I was almost completely immobile. I immediately saw my family doctor and a specialist. I took everything they prescribed. Nothing really worked. I could barely dress myself. I looked like I was drunk when I walked. I couldn't drive my children to preschool.
I was shutting down.
So what happened?
Did the world come to an end? Did everyone stop functioning because I couldn't help myself, much less them?
No.
My mom stepped up in a phenomenal way. She helped me get dressed. She dressed the children. She did everything I couldn't do around the house. She saw that I needed help and she helped me.
I realize that not everyone lives in a multi-generational household like I do but there's still a lesson to be learned.
There is help if you need it.
It took me getting to the point where I couldn't physically do anything for myself to realize that I have so many loving people around me who were more than willing to help if I'd only allow them to.
It was and still is a bit hard for me to accept help. However, it's not as difficult as it used to be. Anything that can get me back in the game, healthy, strong and whole, I'm all for it now.
And that's what help does.
It gets you back in the game and helps you heal.
I still have a lot on my plate. Most of it gets eaten in a day, but a lot of it doesn't.
I'm not trying to win any contests or competitions anymore. I'm just trying to do what I can and make the most of every moment of my life. I want my children to have all of me, not just the part that they see in the rear view mirror as we speed our way through life, completely consumed with this activity or that.
Don't get me wrong. Activities are good. However, having enough time to read a bedtime story complete with dramatizations is priceless to me.
Everyone needs a place they can go and tell the truth. I know that I have someone I can be transparent with and tell, "Hey, I don't feel like a good mom today" and not be judged. I can talk to someone and tell them that my plate is too full and they'll be honest with me and tell me what needs to get scraped off IMMEDIATELY. I have people I can be real with. I have people that will listen. No, it's not a whole multitude of people...
But when you're at the end of your rope...
All you really need is one helping hand.
Thanks to everyone who is a part of my safety zone. You know who you are and I love you for it.
Parenting isn't for wimps my friends and it certainly isn't for the selfish people of the world either.
So yea, I know what it's like to feel pressure and have to perform while it's getting hotter and tighter all around me.
I know what it's like to have two cases of stomach flu to deal with all at one time. Well, it would really be three cases, if I counted myself but I didn't because my symptoms had to be shelved for their sake.
I know what it's like to be tired but unable to sleep. I know what it's like to work a 12 hour shift with less than two hours of sleep.
I know what a lot of things are like.
But there's one thing that I've learned over the years that's so very important.
Everyone need a safety zone.
Everyone should have a place they can go and call a time-out.
I'm not saying that I have circumstances which afford me the opportunity to drop everything and attend to my own needs. But I thank God that I do have authentically loving friends and family around me who wouldn't ignore me if I said, "Hey gang. I'm on the ledge and I really don't know how much more I can take".
I can't tell you how vital that is.
There are so many people who know they can't say that to anyone. They feel as if they're the heartbeat of so many people's lives. If they quit, then the whole operation falls apart.
I had to learn really quickly that taking a break is far less devastating than leaving the field of play altogether.
:Last year, I battled a severe case of vertigo. It came out of nowhere. I woke up one morning feeling dizzy and slightly nauseous and before I knew it, I was almost completely immobile. I immediately saw my family doctor and a specialist. I took everything they prescribed. Nothing really worked. I could barely dress myself. I looked like I was drunk when I walked. I couldn't drive my children to preschool.
I was shutting down.
So what happened?
Did the world come to an end? Did everyone stop functioning because I couldn't help myself, much less them?
No.
My mom stepped up in a phenomenal way. She helped me get dressed. She dressed the children. She did everything I couldn't do around the house. She saw that I needed help and she helped me.
I realize that not everyone lives in a multi-generational household like I do but there's still a lesson to be learned.
There is help if you need it.
It took me getting to the point where I couldn't physically do anything for myself to realize that I have so many loving people around me who were more than willing to help if I'd only allow them to.
It was and still is a bit hard for me to accept help. However, it's not as difficult as it used to be. Anything that can get me back in the game, healthy, strong and whole, I'm all for it now.
And that's what help does.
It gets you back in the game and helps you heal.
I still have a lot on my plate. Most of it gets eaten in a day, but a lot of it doesn't.
I'm not trying to win any contests or competitions anymore. I'm just trying to do what I can and make the most of every moment of my life. I want my children to have all of me, not just the part that they see in the rear view mirror as we speed our way through life, completely consumed with this activity or that.
Don't get me wrong. Activities are good. However, having enough time to read a bedtime story complete with dramatizations is priceless to me.
Everyone needs a place they can go and tell the truth. I know that I have someone I can be transparent with and tell, "Hey, I don't feel like a good mom today" and not be judged. I can talk to someone and tell them that my plate is too full and they'll be honest with me and tell me what needs to get scraped off IMMEDIATELY. I have people I can be real with. I have people that will listen. No, it's not a whole multitude of people...
But when you're at the end of your rope...
All you really need is one helping hand.
Thanks to everyone who is a part of my safety zone. You know who you are and I love you for it.
Thursday, August 18, 2011
Big Waste Of Time...
I might ruffle a few feathers with this post, but I don't mind. Once you hit your 30's, you get a little tired of being censored and decide if everyone else can have an opinion, so can you. Another good thing about being my age is that it causes you to really assess your life and your management of time. I've been in several relationships of varying levels of commitment, with two taking up a combined 13 years of my life. Now, that may not sound like much time, but I'm only 33 years old. Add another 3 years to that number and I would have spent half my lifespan in relationships that went nowhere.
So what have I concluded from my makeshift research efforts?
BOYFRIENDS ARE THE BIGGEST WASTE OF A SINGLE WOMAN'S TIME.
Now before I get emails, comments, and notes, let me clarify my statement.
I'm not saying that friendships with the opposite sex are a waste of time. But let's face it. True friendships don't come to an end, even if romance was or wasn't ever a part of the equation. I'm not friends with ONE boyfriend that I had in the past. That's not to say that I haven't had contact with an ex, but as far as them holding any significant or beneficial place in my life right now? Absolutely not. Of all the things I could have been doing as a single woman with no children back then, I chose to spend the lion's share of my time pining, chasing, arguing, and otherwise striving with a boyfriend. When I say there was so much more I could have been doing with my life, I'm not kidding. For starts, I could have traveled abroad. I could have volunteered in my community. I could have poured myself into mentorship. I could have hit the gym and lost that nagging fifty extra pounds.Let me say that again. I could have been taking care of ME!! But instead, I gave 13 years of non-refundable time to boyfriends.
Not friends..
Not husbands.
Not men.
BOYFRIENDS.
I think younger women, particularly those in their late teens and early twenties should beware of this time wasting monster called "boyfriend". He takes up your time, emotions, and thoughts but when it's all said and done, what is there to show for this heavy investment of time and effort? Is there a real future with this person? Is there a true friendship involved? Would the relationship survive if sex was taken off the table? If the answer's "no", then I'm sad to say that your time has been wasted.
But let's face it. When I was a teenager and a young adult, all I wanted (besides my sister's sense of style) was a boyfriend. It was just good to know that someone besides my mom thought I was pretty and wanted to spend time with me. I didn't really put much value on friendship because girls who wanted to be just friends weren't getting guys. Guys wanted someone they could sleep with or mess around with.
And that's all fine and good until you look up ten, eleven and twenty years later and realize you just had your time wasted by a hollow relationship status called "boyfriend" that didn't even afford you the benefit of a lasting and loving friend.
What good is a relationship that isn't a friendship?
It's a waste of time. When you're going through a tough time and you need someone to talk to, there's nothing like realizing the person you're sleeping with can't even be confided in. If he can see you naked but can't ever know your real feelings, your time is being wasted.
I'm not blaming anyone for my time being wasted in the past because our time is ours to manage, whether wisely or foolishly. But I will say that now that I'm 33, I have absolutely no interest in a boyfriend. Will this revelation no doubt scare off a legion of eligible bachelors? It's possible, but I'll take my chances. Friendship is where the real hard work lives. Your friends are the ones who help you when you have the flu, loan you $100 between paydays and sit and cry with you all night long when your heart is broken. Friends are the ones who know what your dreams and fears are and can be trusted with your deepest secrets. That's not necessarily covered under the "boyfriend" package.
Sure, this means I probably won't have a handsome guy to take pictures with and post to my facebook page as well as go out to dinner with. I'm willing to make that sacrifice. I know now that relationships are built, not imagined on social sites. I'd rather have someone who will let me share my dreams with him instead of someone who only wants to tag me in a photo.
Boyfriends are a waste of time.
But friendships are worthy investments.
So what have I concluded from my makeshift research efforts?
BOYFRIENDS ARE THE BIGGEST WASTE OF A SINGLE WOMAN'S TIME.
Now before I get emails, comments, and notes, let me clarify my statement.
I'm not saying that friendships with the opposite sex are a waste of time. But let's face it. True friendships don't come to an end, even if romance was or wasn't ever a part of the equation. I'm not friends with ONE boyfriend that I had in the past. That's not to say that I haven't had contact with an ex, but as far as them holding any significant or beneficial place in my life right now? Absolutely not. Of all the things I could have been doing as a single woman with no children back then, I chose to spend the lion's share of my time pining, chasing, arguing, and otherwise striving with a boyfriend. When I say there was so much more I could have been doing with my life, I'm not kidding. For starts, I could have traveled abroad. I could have volunteered in my community. I could have poured myself into mentorship. I could have hit the gym and lost that nagging fifty extra pounds.Let me say that again. I could have been taking care of ME!! But instead, I gave 13 years of non-refundable time to boyfriends.
Not friends..
Not husbands.
Not men.
BOYFRIENDS.
I think younger women, particularly those in their late teens and early twenties should beware of this time wasting monster called "boyfriend". He takes up your time, emotions, and thoughts but when it's all said and done, what is there to show for this heavy investment of time and effort? Is there a real future with this person? Is there a true friendship involved? Would the relationship survive if sex was taken off the table? If the answer's "no", then I'm sad to say that your time has been wasted.
But let's face it. When I was a teenager and a young adult, all I wanted (besides my sister's sense of style) was a boyfriend. It was just good to know that someone besides my mom thought I was pretty and wanted to spend time with me. I didn't really put much value on friendship because girls who wanted to be just friends weren't getting guys. Guys wanted someone they could sleep with or mess around with.
And that's all fine and good until you look up ten, eleven and twenty years later and realize you just had your time wasted by a hollow relationship status called "boyfriend" that didn't even afford you the benefit of a lasting and loving friend.
What good is a relationship that isn't a friendship?
It's a waste of time. When you're going through a tough time and you need someone to talk to, there's nothing like realizing the person you're sleeping with can't even be confided in. If he can see you naked but can't ever know your real feelings, your time is being wasted.
I'm not blaming anyone for my time being wasted in the past because our time is ours to manage, whether wisely or foolishly. But I will say that now that I'm 33, I have absolutely no interest in a boyfriend. Will this revelation no doubt scare off a legion of eligible bachelors? It's possible, but I'll take my chances. Friendship is where the real hard work lives. Your friends are the ones who help you when you have the flu, loan you $100 between paydays and sit and cry with you all night long when your heart is broken. Friends are the ones who know what your dreams and fears are and can be trusted with your deepest secrets. That's not necessarily covered under the "boyfriend" package.
Sure, this means I probably won't have a handsome guy to take pictures with and post to my facebook page as well as go out to dinner with. I'm willing to make that sacrifice. I know now that relationships are built, not imagined on social sites. I'd rather have someone who will let me share my dreams with him instead of someone who only wants to tag me in a photo.
Boyfriends are a waste of time.
But friendships are worthy investments.
Wednesday, August 17, 2011
Matthew's First Day of School!
I survived! I mean, WE survived. lol! Matt had a wonderful first day of school today. Let me start by saying our great God does all things WELL! February of 2010, I felt the leading of the Lord to take Matt & Cait out of the care of their aunt on their father's side. This was met with much opposition and pretty much spelled the end of my relationship with their father. He took this move personally instead of seeing it as I saw it. This move was for the benefit of his two children. Matt was barely talking and most certainly wasn't talking clearly enough to be understood. He didn't know his letters, numbers, or colors, but he knew every tv show known to man. I was a single mom, hard at work to make the ends meet. Their aunt was inexpensive child care but my two children were paying the price.
I endured being cursed out and fought with to get my children away from her. But here we are, 18 months later. My son Matthew began kindergarten today! When I enrolled him into St. Andrews Child Development Center, along with his sister last June, I didn't know what to expect.
What I soon gained was two brand new children.
Within three months time, both were talking clearly and Matt was even beginning to learn how to write. A year later, he can count to 20, knows all of his colors, shapes, and letters.
To GOD be the glory!
The decision to put him in a daycare was probably one of the toughest parenting decisions I had to make to date. I put myself at odds with his father and his father's entire family just to do what I felt the Lord wanted me to do. I didn't know back then that the sacrifice I was making then would reap such an abundant harvest.
This morning as I drove Matt to school, I affirmed him and told him he was going to have a great day at school today. Then I said to him, "You know what? Let's pray". I began to pray aloud and I glanced back to the back seat. There was my precious boy with his hands clasped to his chest and eyes closed, in prayer.
He learned that at St. Andrews.
In that single moment, all of the pain and tears I went through to get him to this moment in time were worth it. I realized that the same God who assured me that I would have a son and to not worry about how I would care for him was the SAME God who had faithfully brought us to this milestone in his life.
His father walked through the door of the school and I almost burst into tears when I saw him run into his dad's arms. For all of our drama, past and present, what a blessing it was for us to be able to lay aside our differences long enough to celebrate our son's big day.
I'm eternally grateful to Marc for that.
We helped him settle into his new class room and waved good bye to him. He was very nervous, so nervous that he wouldn't eat breakfast. But I knew by the end of the day, that wonderfully personable spirit of his would make plenty of new friends and overcome any nervousness.
He proudly proclaims, "I'm a big kid now".
Yes he is. He's a big brother to his baby sister, and a kindergarten student of Greenville County. He's well on his way to being 10 times more successful than his mom or dad.
He's well on his way to being everything God created him to be.
I've got my work cut out for me though. There's forms to fill out and supply lists to double check. And let's not forget the homework. But we're in this together and God is with us, as He has always been.
We're off to a great start so far.
And we'll finish strong!
I endured being cursed out and fought with to get my children away from her. But here we are, 18 months later. My son Matthew began kindergarten today! When I enrolled him into St. Andrews Child Development Center, along with his sister last June, I didn't know what to expect.
What I soon gained was two brand new children.
Within three months time, both were talking clearly and Matt was even beginning to learn how to write. A year later, he can count to 20, knows all of his colors, shapes, and letters.
To GOD be the glory!
The decision to put him in a daycare was probably one of the toughest parenting decisions I had to make to date. I put myself at odds with his father and his father's entire family just to do what I felt the Lord wanted me to do. I didn't know back then that the sacrifice I was making then would reap such an abundant harvest.
This morning as I drove Matt to school, I affirmed him and told him he was going to have a great day at school today. Then I said to him, "You know what? Let's pray". I began to pray aloud and I glanced back to the back seat. There was my precious boy with his hands clasped to his chest and eyes closed, in prayer.
He learned that at St. Andrews.
In that single moment, all of the pain and tears I went through to get him to this moment in time were worth it. I realized that the same God who assured me that I would have a son and to not worry about how I would care for him was the SAME God who had faithfully brought us to this milestone in his life.
His father walked through the door of the school and I almost burst into tears when I saw him run into his dad's arms. For all of our drama, past and present, what a blessing it was for us to be able to lay aside our differences long enough to celebrate our son's big day.
I'm eternally grateful to Marc for that.
We helped him settle into his new class room and waved good bye to him. He was very nervous, so nervous that he wouldn't eat breakfast. But I knew by the end of the day, that wonderfully personable spirit of his would make plenty of new friends and overcome any nervousness.
He proudly proclaims, "I'm a big kid now".
Yes he is. He's a big brother to his baby sister, and a kindergarten student of Greenville County. He's well on his way to being 10 times more successful than his mom or dad.
He's well on his way to being everything God created him to be.
I've got my work cut out for me though. There's forms to fill out and supply lists to double check. And let's not forget the homework. But we're in this together and God is with us, as He has always been.
We're off to a great start so far.
And we'll finish strong!
Sunday, August 14, 2011
Big Ol' Cry Baby...
I wasn't always this way. I was the kid who could take a lickin and not even whimper. I was the one with the high pain tolerance. It took a lot to break me down and reduce these big, brown eyes to tears.
That was then, and this is now.
Now, I find myself crying a lot. When I see something moving on tv, hear a testimony, hear a song...
I cry.
And I'm not talking about just welling up. I'm talking about big ol' tear drops running down my face.
At first, I was a little concerned about this emotional transformation of mine. I've even jokingly said, "I've turned into Jan Crouch!" who almost always cries at one point or another when she's on TBN.
I didn't understand it then, but I do now.
I have so much more compassion in my heart now than I did then.
I love people more.
I love myself more.
I love God more.
I'm moved more.
So as frustrating as it can be to explain why on earth I'm crying while watching a simple story on the news, I just let the tears flow and gently wipe them away.
You see, I've had my heart broken a few times in 33 years. But that didn't make it hard.
It made it tender.
I'm thankful to God that in spite of everything I've been through and those who put me through it, my soul still can feel. I still care. I still can love, laugh, and cry.
Tears of compassion.
Tears of sorrow...
And tears of joy.
Thank you Lord for making me a big ol' cry baby.
Amen.
That was then, and this is now.
Now, I find myself crying a lot. When I see something moving on tv, hear a testimony, hear a song...
I cry.
And I'm not talking about just welling up. I'm talking about big ol' tear drops running down my face.
At first, I was a little concerned about this emotional transformation of mine. I've even jokingly said, "I've turned into Jan Crouch!" who almost always cries at one point or another when she's on TBN.
I didn't understand it then, but I do now.
I have so much more compassion in my heart now than I did then.
I love people more.
I love myself more.
I love God more.
I'm moved more.
So as frustrating as it can be to explain why on earth I'm crying while watching a simple story on the news, I just let the tears flow and gently wipe them away.
You see, I've had my heart broken a few times in 33 years. But that didn't make it hard.
It made it tender.
I'm thankful to God that in spite of everything I've been through and those who put me through it, my soul still can feel. I still care. I still can love, laugh, and cry.
Tears of compassion.
Tears of sorrow...
And tears of joy.
Thank you Lord for making me a big ol' cry baby.
Amen.
Saturday, August 13, 2011
I'm A Good Tired...
*Note to self* No matter how cute the outfit, please refrain from wearing 4 inch wedges to a toddler birthday party Miss Mel. lol!
Needless to say, I'm worn completely out! I packed a pair of comfy shoes in my purse but I was so busy, I didn't even have a chance to slip them on. Although my back and knees are now voicing their displeasure, the kids and I had a great time at their cousin Nadia's 2nd birthday party. She is a cousin on their father's side. It's amazing to me how many families have embraced me over the years as if I were their own. I find that to be a wonderful characteristic of southern families. At the end of the day, most figure somehow or another, we're all related in some sense and they welcome you into their homes and hearts accordingly.
This was quite possibly the last birthday party of the summer for Matt and Cait and certainly that last one before school starts. Back to school...*sigh* I've been suffering from a moderate to severe case of denial and procrastination regarding Matt's first day of kindergarten. School starts this coming Wednesday and we meet his teacher Monday. I would say the obligatory, "I aint ready!" but now that we've reached panic mode, the need for such a comment seems unnecessary. lol! He's going to absolutely love school and I'm going to devote an entire blog entry to the milestone, don't you worry.
Right now, I am unbelievably relaxed. I'm feeling that "good tired" feeling, you know what I mean? It's that tired that lets you know that you could actually get some decent deep sleep. The only thing keeping me up right now is my desire to blog. Typically, I don't write very much on the weekends. It's an unintentional habit.
I want to thank those of you again who read my thoughts. I can't tell you how much it means to me.
Lastly, before I retire for the night, I'll tell you about two other components of my weekend. I viewed almost the entire session of Manpower again this year online. I watched last year also and it was amazing then and now. I know I'm a woman and all but I LOVE the preached Word of God and the speakers this year were BANANAS! I couldn't help but remember that I was in a relationship briefly with a guy who attended Manpower last year and he called me constantly and sent me pictures of The Potter's House.I had a nasty case of bronchitis and he asked me if I wanted him to fly to Dallas or stay and come to see me. Aww... I know, right? lol! Too bad that relationship crashed before it even made it to the end of the runway. I wondered if he had made the trip again this year. Apostle Ron Carpenter, founder of Redemption World Outreach here in Greenville, SC preached his first ever Manpower message this year. It was AMAZING! He spoke about the four components of the anointing, one of which is bitterness. It's well worth getting the cd. Outstanding. I was so proud to be a Greenvillian.
Last but surely not least in my eclectic world was my run in with the clearance rack of shoes (AGAIN) at Target. Good LORD! That's where the four inch gold toned wedges came from. I took at picture of them but the lighting was terrible and I just don't feel like doing a re-take. As I stated before, I'm a good tired. lol!
But I did manage to capture the detail on a pair of thong sandals I snagged for a little over $6.
ARE YOU KIDDING ME?! It's like having a brooch on both feet! I saw these sandals early Spring in a print ad and drooled over them. I wanted them so badly but wasn't willing to pay close to $30 for them. Because of my patience, I'm now the owner of these beauties (in size 11) and will be sure to WRECK the summer of 2012 in them. I'm already having visions of a short black summer dress or even a long maxi dress. For me, it's all about details. I'm not the most fashion savvy woman there is but when I see something I like, I wear it. Sometimes that works for me, and sometimes it doesn't. I also tried a new hairdo today that took me a little bit out of my comfort zone. To my surprise I received a ton of compliments which just goes to show that just because something stretches you, doesn't mean it's bad for you. It's been a great day.
Tomorrow will be filled with the Word of God in the morning and cleaning up this house! Sheesh. Then I'll receive my little ones again and start preparing them for school. Last weekend's drop off was a near disaster and their father and I haven't said two words to each other since.It's like we're in a competition to see who can say the least to the other and still get a point across. I'm just tired of immature drama. I'm 33 years old. It's time to move on to BETTER. I fully intend to have what I decree and believe. And I believe AND decree that I will have a loving husband, a strong marriage and a solid family. Drama is made for audiences and I for one sure won't be attending.
Needless to say, I'm worn completely out! I packed a pair of comfy shoes in my purse but I was so busy, I didn't even have a chance to slip them on. Although my back and knees are now voicing their displeasure, the kids and I had a great time at their cousin Nadia's 2nd birthday party. She is a cousin on their father's side. It's amazing to me how many families have embraced me over the years as if I were their own. I find that to be a wonderful characteristic of southern families. At the end of the day, most figure somehow or another, we're all related in some sense and they welcome you into their homes and hearts accordingly.
Right now, I am unbelievably relaxed. I'm feeling that "good tired" feeling, you know what I mean? It's that tired that lets you know that you could actually get some decent deep sleep. The only thing keeping me up right now is my desire to blog. Typically, I don't write very much on the weekends. It's an unintentional habit.
I want to thank those of you again who read my thoughts. I can't tell you how much it means to me.
Lastly, before I retire for the night, I'll tell you about two other components of my weekend. I viewed almost the entire session of Manpower again this year online. I watched last year also and it was amazing then and now. I know I'm a woman and all but I LOVE the preached Word of God and the speakers this year were BANANAS! I couldn't help but remember that I was in a relationship briefly with a guy who attended Manpower last year and he called me constantly and sent me pictures of The Potter's House.I had a nasty case of bronchitis and he asked me if I wanted him to fly to Dallas or stay and come to see me. Aww... I know, right? lol! Too bad that relationship crashed before it even made it to the end of the runway. I wondered if he had made the trip again this year. Apostle Ron Carpenter, founder of Redemption World Outreach here in Greenville, SC preached his first ever Manpower message this year. It was AMAZING! He spoke about the four components of the anointing, one of which is bitterness. It's well worth getting the cd. Outstanding. I was so proud to be a Greenvillian.
Last but surely not least in my eclectic world was my run in with the clearance rack of shoes (AGAIN) at Target. Good LORD! That's where the four inch gold toned wedges came from. I took at picture of them but the lighting was terrible and I just don't feel like doing a re-take. As I stated before, I'm a good tired. lol!
But I did manage to capture the detail on a pair of thong sandals I snagged for a little over $6.
Tomorrow will be filled with the Word of God in the morning and cleaning up this house! Sheesh. Then I'll receive my little ones again and start preparing them for school. Last weekend's drop off was a near disaster and their father and I haven't said two words to each other since.It's like we're in a competition to see who can say the least to the other and still get a point across. I'm just tired of immature drama. I'm 33 years old. It's time to move on to BETTER. I fully intend to have what I decree and believe. And I believe AND decree that I will have a loving husband, a strong marriage and a solid family. Drama is made for audiences and I for one sure won't be attending.
Thursday, August 11, 2011
A Touch Of Gray...
It's every woman's nightmare. My age has never been that big of a deal to me. After all, I've been a "young person" all my life! Getting older was so far off in the distance, I guess I assumed it wasn't there. But a few things happened that put getting older on my horizon: I had children. My mother turns 60 this year. I'm finding silver and white strands of hair in my combs & brushes. There's no huge Jay Leno patch yet. For the most part, no one even knows I'm starting to show my age.
But I do.
Thirty three is still quite young but it's not as forgiving as 23. I get tired. It takes me longer to recover from things. Some things are better, like my attitude and mood. But some things are worse, like my extremely cold feet and hands. I'm not in a panic yet. I'm in no hurry to run out and purchase a spot at the local mausoleum, but time definitely is starting to speak a little more loudly and firmly.
Get moving on your goals.
Get moving on your dreams.
Take care of yourself.
Stay focused.
I don't know how much time the Lord has allotted me here on this earth.
These silvery warning flags are reminding me that however long it is, I must maximize them.
I want my latter to be greater.
I want to earn every gray hair I have and have fun while doing it.
When I am considered old, I want to still be considered relevant.
That's a tall order to fill...
I guess I better get started, huh?
But I do.
Thirty three is still quite young but it's not as forgiving as 23. I get tired. It takes me longer to recover from things. Some things are better, like my attitude and mood. But some things are worse, like my extremely cold feet and hands. I'm not in a panic yet. I'm in no hurry to run out and purchase a spot at the local mausoleum, but time definitely is starting to speak a little more loudly and firmly.
Get moving on your goals.
Get moving on your dreams.
Take care of yourself.
Stay focused.
I don't know how much time the Lord has allotted me here on this earth.
These silvery warning flags are reminding me that however long it is, I must maximize them.
I want my latter to be greater.
I want to earn every gray hair I have and have fun while doing it.
When I am considered old, I want to still be considered relevant.
That's a tall order to fill...
I guess I better get started, huh?
Saturday, August 06, 2011
South Carolina's Tax-Free Weekend Haul
I am sooo excited about having a moment to myself! Those insiders of mine know I literally fought to get it today, but the kiddos made it safely to their dad's house and are so far still with him. On my way back home from the drop off, I swung by Target. I don't know you guys...there's something about that gigantic red BULLS EYE that draws distressed shoppers in need of retail therapy in like moths to a flame! Before I knew it, my four truck tires were in a parking space. It didn't take me long to see plenty of great deals:
I copped one dress and three pairs of shoes for myself on tax free weekend for the sum of $56.93! Not bad at all for a plus sized mama!
And you know I couldn't leave my babies out. Target is by FAR my favorite store for all of my children's clothing needs. I have nothing against Wal-Mart. There Geranimals clothing line is the best. However, you can't beat Target's Circo clothing line for boys and girls. I got Matt & Cait three outfits a piece. In all, my total bill was $108. How fantastic is that?! It would have been lower had I not thought of myself...*sigh* but I talked myself down off the ledge and decided to do something nice for ME this weekend! Thanks for sharing in my haul folks
I'll leave you with a few pics of a couple of my favorite pieces currently in my closet..Whatever you do, be creative, mix & match, and be patient!
.
 |
| These size 11 cute wedges were only $12.48 on clearance! You know us bigfoots can't find cute shoes for this price! Can't wait to come up with a really clever outfit to put these beauties on display! |
 |
| Please forgive the lighting. I'm not photog...just an excited shoe lover. lol! Snagged this camel toned wedges for the tune of $13.98! With their suede-like soles, they are extra comfy on the tootsies. |
 |
| The fairest of them all...my bejeweled flats. These were only $12.48 on the clearance rack. For all of those who thought I'd only rock a heel, here's the evidence to the contrary. I respect all heel heights, as long as they're cute! That's my only fashion advice for flats. Make sure they're saying something! When people get down to your feet, give them a little sparkle and detail. I promise you that you won't feel so plain and dowdy even if you're in no mood for 4 inch heels! |
 |
| The sole of article clothing that I purchased for myself (I almost asked a sales associate to grant me permission to buy myself a dress) was this navy and camel striped dress! Oh my, oh my. If I had a husband, boyfriend, or even just a good friend who'd hold a camera steady, you'd see that I KILL in this dress. My mom said, "I wish I had legs like that.", but was sure to suggest, for the Pentecostal in her, that I pair this dress with leggings. I got your leggings mama and they're calls MY BROWN SKIN! lol! I should have had this dress 2 months ago. Every women is entitled to one dress per season that makes her feel like a million bucks. This dress gives it to me! I feel like a 33 year old, sophisticated mommy in this, instead of a plus sized tent. I'd pair this with the camel colored sandals if I were trying to dress it down When fall comes, I could grab a navy or camel colored cardigan with this and KILL. This dress will definitely be used quite often. |
And you know I couldn't leave my babies out. Target is by FAR my favorite store for all of my children's clothing needs. I have nothing against Wal-Mart. There Geranimals clothing line is the best. However, you can't beat Target's Circo clothing line for boys and girls. I got Matt & Cait three outfits a piece. In all, my total bill was $108. How fantastic is that?! It would have been lower had I not thought of myself...*sigh* but I talked myself down off the ledge and decided to do something nice for ME this weekend! Thanks for sharing in my haul folks
 |
| My "go-to" dress of Summer 2011! Great color, flirty length and detail. |
 |
| It's all in the details! Delicate bibbed crochet work and a crisscross back...killed it! |
 |
| A couple of my favorite statement rings. I love bling. No one cares about real or fake anymore. It's about how the light catches the accessories. Don't be afraid to choose what you feel is pretty, whether it's real or not. |
 |
| Not sure if I've shown these already, but if I have, please forgive me.. Had every intention of rocking these this Spring or Summer but it never happened. Here's another fashion tip from Mel: you're building your fashion house, one piece at a time. When you choose good pieces with a great design, they'll last for years! These shoes are close to two years old. |
.
Friday, August 05, 2011
Reckless Driver
We've seen him or her before. That person who has a blatant disregard for most traffic laws. We've all been in the car a time or two with the person who drove like a bat out of hell and when we arrived to our destination, had us kissing the ground in gratitude.
When I was in high school, right around my junior year, my school was rocked by the unexpected deaths of three popular students after a football game. The driver was a jock who was known for joking around in class and being the guy everyone wanted to hang around. He was also a notorious reckless driver. He drove at break neck speeds often and for the most part, had little incident until that one fateful night.
About four people were in the car, all of them I knew to some degree. After the football game, the driver offered to give his three other friends a ride home. He pulled out of the school's parking lot and headed to a popular street called "Verdae Blvd". Verdae is a long stretch that deceivingly allows a driver to get up to speed on at least a half mile's worth of straightaways. The only problem is that side streets are accessible to Verdae. The driver made his way onto Verdae and made the decision to take his passengers on a high speed ride. Unfortunately, about a quarter mile into his joy ride, an elderly man made it to Salters Road, a side street that intersected with Verdae. Just as he made his decision to cross, my classmate crashed into him.
Four people lost their lives that night: the driver, and two of his passengers. Only one person in the car survived but he suffered severe brain injury and never played football again. The elderly driver was also killed.
When I hear the term "reckless driving" my mind immediately goes back to that incident which sent my entire school into a period of deep mourning.
But what about the reckless drivers who get behind the wheel of our hearts?
How many times have we allowed the unstable, the selfish, the abusive, and the unappreciative to come into our lives, hop behind the wheel and take our lives on a deadly joy ride?
How many times have we allowed a heart breaker to add us to his list of victims?
On how many occasions have we maintained a friendship with her even though she was never a friend to us?
You don't have to be a speeder to be a reckless driver, although that's definitely the most common type. All you have to do is be a person who ignores the rules and doesn't respect others who are on the road with you.
That's all it takes.
The same applies to our lives.
You don't have to be noticeably reckless to be a reckless driver. All you have to do is be disrespectful of others and ignore the rules of protocol when they apply. Some things just shouldn't be said and some things just shouldn't be done when you claim to love and care for someone. If you break those rules, you are reckless. And if you're reckless, nobody should be in the car with you.
Reckless driving causes accidents and death in motor vehicles.
Reckless drivers of the heart have caused deaths of relationships, self esteem and destiny.
He says you're his woman, but two or three other women make the same claim.
She says she's your friend but whenever you need her, she's not around.
She's always calling you needing something, but never seems to have time to do anything but pick up the money you let her "borrow".
He refuses to wear a condom because he says it feels better when he's with you. He'll be careful, he says, and won't give you a disease or get you pregnant.
You confide in her but listen to her tell everyone else's business. You think she's not doing your business the same way when you're not around?
Don't put reckless folks behind the wheel of your heart.
Only safe drivers.
When I was in high school, right around my junior year, my school was rocked by the unexpected deaths of three popular students after a football game. The driver was a jock who was known for joking around in class and being the guy everyone wanted to hang around. He was also a notorious reckless driver. He drove at break neck speeds often and for the most part, had little incident until that one fateful night.
About four people were in the car, all of them I knew to some degree. After the football game, the driver offered to give his three other friends a ride home. He pulled out of the school's parking lot and headed to a popular street called "Verdae Blvd". Verdae is a long stretch that deceivingly allows a driver to get up to speed on at least a half mile's worth of straightaways. The only problem is that side streets are accessible to Verdae. The driver made his way onto Verdae and made the decision to take his passengers on a high speed ride. Unfortunately, about a quarter mile into his joy ride, an elderly man made it to Salters Road, a side street that intersected with Verdae. Just as he made his decision to cross, my classmate crashed into him.
Four people lost their lives that night: the driver, and two of his passengers. Only one person in the car survived but he suffered severe brain injury and never played football again. The elderly driver was also killed.
When I hear the term "reckless driving" my mind immediately goes back to that incident which sent my entire school into a period of deep mourning.
But what about the reckless drivers who get behind the wheel of our hearts?
How many times have we allowed the unstable, the selfish, the abusive, and the unappreciative to come into our lives, hop behind the wheel and take our lives on a deadly joy ride?
How many times have we allowed a heart breaker to add us to his list of victims?
On how many occasions have we maintained a friendship with her even though she was never a friend to us?
You don't have to be a speeder to be a reckless driver, although that's definitely the most common type. All you have to do is be a person who ignores the rules and doesn't respect others who are on the road with you.
That's all it takes.
The same applies to our lives.
You don't have to be noticeably reckless to be a reckless driver. All you have to do is be disrespectful of others and ignore the rules of protocol when they apply. Some things just shouldn't be said and some things just shouldn't be done when you claim to love and care for someone. If you break those rules, you are reckless. And if you're reckless, nobody should be in the car with you.
Reckless driving causes accidents and death in motor vehicles.
Reckless drivers of the heart have caused deaths of relationships, self esteem and destiny.
He says you're his woman, but two or three other women make the same claim.
She says she's your friend but whenever you need her, she's not around.
She's always calling you needing something, but never seems to have time to do anything but pick up the money you let her "borrow".
He refuses to wear a condom because he says it feels better when he's with you. He'll be careful, he says, and won't give you a disease or get you pregnant.
You confide in her but listen to her tell everyone else's business. You think she's not doing your business the same way when you're not around?
Don't put reckless folks behind the wheel of your heart.
Only safe drivers.
Thursday, August 04, 2011
Nursing School...Sorta.
It occurred to me after reading an article on BlackandMarriedWithKids.com that I'd neglected to share my own personal journey in the world of breastfeeding.
By the time Caitlyn came along, just 19 short months after the birth of her brother Matthew, I thought I was a pro at breastfeeding.
BOY WAS I WRONG!
I learned so much from the experience, both its high's and lows. I'll do my best to recap my breastfeeding journey with my babies and offer some helpful insights in the process.
If you're thinking about breastfeeding, here's some of the things you need to know and be prepared for:
It is work!
Breastfeeding is not for whimps! It can be a challenge and my overly hormonal self shed many tears along the way. That's normal and to be expected. Just be prepared that formula feeding is definitely easier than breastfeeding but far less beneficial. They are not the same, in ANY way.
Here's the truth: Neither of my children nursed 100% of the time.
That's right, I said it. Breastfeeding is a learning process for both mommy and baby and guess what? Learning takes time and not everyone learns at the same rate of speed. Just because YOU'RE ready for baby to nurse, doesn't mean that he or she will. Accept this as normal also. The first month is the toughest for breastfeeding moms and babies. I had no idea in the beginning that babies had to actually "learn" how to suck. I thought we were all born knowing how to do that! Folks, I had a lot to learn. lol!
Think of formula as training wheels.
As I tried to prepare my babies to nurse, they weren't always successful so they were formula fed the first few days of their life. When my milk came in (that's right... milk comes in and it's quite a sight when it does...yikes. lol!) When moms initially start lactating, they don't produce enough milk for baby. Our bodies have to be trained. So what I'd do is express or "pump" as much milk as I could and mix it with formula. Eventually, as I continued pumping, my body kicked into gear and gradually, I was producing enough milk to totally do away with formula.
You must have support!
I don't know what I would have done without the nurses at St. Francis Women's Hospital! They were very supportive and knowledgeable. Also, it helps tremendously to know other fellow mommies who have walked down the same 2 a.m. feeding road. Their knowledge and encouragement is PRICELESS!
You MUST take care of yourself!
Unlike with formula feeding, it's all about baby... sorta. I personally think formula smells worse than swill that even a hog wouldn't swig, but that's just me. But when it comes to nursing, mommy you're the supplier so you have to stay healthy. For me, that meant eating right, abstaining from foods that could irritate baby's tummy (spicy foods, onions and sometimes garlic, and certain medications) and staying hydrated. A nursing mom can express as much as 18 or more ounces of milk per day. In the picture above, Caitlyn has an 8 oz bottle. Doesn't she look happy?! lol! There are some mothers who are completely against any bottle feeding whatsoever. I say do what works for you and baby. I'd rather a baby be bottle fed breast milk all their baby life than given synthetic formula.
That's just me though...
Don't forget daddy.
With Matthew and Caitlyn's dad, nursing was completely new ground. He'd never seen it done and for some reason, he and his family had reservations about my decision to breastfeed. But just like I chose both my children's names, I chose their method of nutrition. After he saw my commitment to breastfeeding, he eventually came on board. For a guy, he was actually quite understanding. I didn't hide the nursing process from him. It was difficult some days, and he got to see the best and the worst of it. I can recall having to nurse in the backseat of my truck on more than one occasion on family outings. lol! When I had leaking accidents, he didn't tease me. He didn't freak out when it was time to express milk or nurse and he was willing to give them their bottles when spending time with them. Sometimes, all it takes is being introduced to something new to realize that it's not all that bad or impossible to do.
There's so much more I could share about breastfeeding but time won't allow. Overall, it was one of the most difficult but rewarding experiences of my mothering life. I had to think outside of the box many of occasions. But I can say with sincerity that God was with me every step of the way. He put mothers in my path who would support me with knowledge and answer my questions. He gave my manager at the time compassion for me which allowed me to take as many unscheduled nursing breaks as I needed throughout the day.
My biggest piece of advice is this...
God is with you mom.
If you make a commitment for the good of your child, God WILL make a way for you. Your provision may not come as mine did but I guarantee you, He will make a way somehow! I always had a clean, safe place to nurse. There were times I could even leave work to nurse my babies in my arms. God was with me.
And as He was with me, so shall He be with you!
BOY WAS I WRONG!
I learned so much from the experience, both its high's and lows. I'll do my best to recap my breastfeeding journey with my babies and offer some helpful insights in the process.
If you're thinking about breastfeeding, here's some of the things you need to know and be prepared for:
It is work!
Breastfeeding is not for whimps! It can be a challenge and my overly hormonal self shed many tears along the way. That's normal and to be expected. Just be prepared that formula feeding is definitely easier than breastfeeding but far less beneficial. They are not the same, in ANY way.
Here's the truth: Neither of my children nursed 100% of the time.
That's right, I said it. Breastfeeding is a learning process for both mommy and baby and guess what? Learning takes time and not everyone learns at the same rate of speed. Just because YOU'RE ready for baby to nurse, doesn't mean that he or she will. Accept this as normal also. The first month is the toughest for breastfeeding moms and babies. I had no idea in the beginning that babies had to actually "learn" how to suck. I thought we were all born knowing how to do that! Folks, I had a lot to learn. lol!
Think of formula as training wheels.
As I tried to prepare my babies to nurse, they weren't always successful so they were formula fed the first few days of their life. When my milk came in (that's right... milk comes in and it's quite a sight when it does...yikes. lol!) When moms initially start lactating, they don't produce enough milk for baby. Our bodies have to be trained. So what I'd do is express or "pump" as much milk as I could and mix it with formula. Eventually, as I continued pumping, my body kicked into gear and gradually, I was producing enough milk to totally do away with formula.
You must have support!
I don't know what I would have done without the nurses at St. Francis Women's Hospital! They were very supportive and knowledgeable. Also, it helps tremendously to know other fellow mommies who have walked down the same 2 a.m. feeding road. Their knowledge and encouragement is PRICELESS!
Unlike with formula feeding, it's all about baby... sorta. I personally think formula smells worse than swill that even a hog wouldn't swig, but that's just me. But when it comes to nursing, mommy you're the supplier so you have to stay healthy. For me, that meant eating right, abstaining from foods that could irritate baby's tummy (spicy foods, onions and sometimes garlic, and certain medications) and staying hydrated. A nursing mom can express as much as 18 or more ounces of milk per day. In the picture above, Caitlyn has an 8 oz bottle. Doesn't she look happy?! lol! There are some mothers who are completely against any bottle feeding whatsoever. I say do what works for you and baby. I'd rather a baby be bottle fed breast milk all their baby life than given synthetic formula.
That's just me though...
Don't forget daddy.
With Matthew and Caitlyn's dad, nursing was completely new ground. He'd never seen it done and for some reason, he and his family had reservations about my decision to breastfeed. But just like I chose both my children's names, I chose their method of nutrition. After he saw my commitment to breastfeeding, he eventually came on board. For a guy, he was actually quite understanding. I didn't hide the nursing process from him. It was difficult some days, and he got to see the best and the worst of it. I can recall having to nurse in the backseat of my truck on more than one occasion on family outings. lol! When I had leaking accidents, he didn't tease me. He didn't freak out when it was time to express milk or nurse and he was willing to give them their bottles when spending time with them. Sometimes, all it takes is being introduced to something new to realize that it's not all that bad or impossible to do.
There's so much more I could share about breastfeeding but time won't allow. Overall, it was one of the most difficult but rewarding experiences of my mothering life. I had to think outside of the box many of occasions. But I can say with sincerity that God was with me every step of the way. He put mothers in my path who would support me with knowledge and answer my questions. He gave my manager at the time compassion for me which allowed me to take as many unscheduled nursing breaks as I needed throughout the day.
My biggest piece of advice is this...
God is with you mom.
If you make a commitment for the good of your child, God WILL make a way for you. Your provision may not come as mine did but I guarantee you, He will make a way somehow! I always had a clean, safe place to nurse. There were times I could even leave work to nurse my babies in my arms. God was with me.
And as He was with me, so shall He be with you!
Wednesday, August 03, 2011
Do I Have To Ask?
I don't like asking for help. I don't know too many moms or women for that matter who enjoy doing so. Most modern day women pride themselves on being relatively self sufficient and able to survive without having to ask a ton of people for help. It's not like many of us have had pleasant experiences in the area of asking. Let's keep it real. When you think of all the times you didn't ask for something you knew you needed, what was the biggest reason for doing so? Most likely, the reason that shines the brightest is the negative response you got when you did ask someone for something you needed or wanted.
Let me introduce you to two people who do not mind asking a million questions and requesting a million things every single day: my two children.
Funny thing about it is that when it's something they really, truly want with all their little beings, they don't let up.
They don't disappear on the first no.
They don't stop asking because of disappointment.
They wait a while, then come right back and ask again.
A typical day in my household goes like this:
*Fifteen minutes after breakfast* Caitlyn: Mommy can I have a snack?
Me: No Caitlyn.
Caitlyn: Why?
Me: You just ate!
*Ten minutes later...*
Caitlyn: Mommy, can I have a snack?
Me: No Caitlyn.
Caitlyn: WHY??!
Me: Because you just ate.
*Another ten minutes goes by...*
Caitlyn: Mommy, can I have a snack?
Me: No Caitlyn.
Caitlyn: BUT I'M HUNGRY!!!!!
Me: What do you want?
Caitlyn: Can I have gummies?
Me: How about a poptart?
Caitlyn: OK!
*Off she goes with her prize...*
I do believe God handles His children (you and I) much the same way. He whispered into my mind a day or so ago, "When you want something that you're not entitled to or that someone never intended for you, you must insist and persist".
Makes total sense if you look over the example of the dialogue I just had with Cait.
Her objective was to get a snack.
I had no intention of giving her a snack at that moment because it was not TIME for her to eat again.
But her persistence created a new season for her called "SNACK TIME".
Oh, y'all don't want me to preach on this here blog!!
So what does that say to you and I?
The Word of God says in Matthew 7 "Ask and it shall be given you; seek and ye shall find. Knock and the door shall be opened unto you".
I would never want to deprive my child of any good thing. There have been times she asked me for something that I was unwilling to give her. Same goes for her brother. But when what either of them asks me for is something that I know isn't good for them, I almost always present them with two things: my counter offer and an opportunity to ask for something else!
If that doesn't jump start your faith today, I don't know what will.
When you ask God for things, don't despair when it seems as if His answer is no. Persist in prayer. Persist when you know the thing you desire is something He'd be willing to give you. I won't give my children anything to eat if they aren't hungry. However, if they persist in asking for something to eat, I will give it to them because I am more than willing and ABLE to meet that need for them.
WOOHOO!
So, I challenge every reader to ask more, persist more, and believe that God is able and WILLING to grant your petition!
Let me introduce you to two people who do not mind asking a million questions and requesting a million things every single day: my two children.
Funny thing about it is that when it's something they really, truly want with all their little beings, they don't let up.
They don't disappear on the first no.
They don't stop asking because of disappointment.
They wait a while, then come right back and ask again.
A typical day in my household goes like this:
*Fifteen minutes after breakfast* Caitlyn: Mommy can I have a snack?
Me: No Caitlyn.
Caitlyn: Why?
Me: You just ate!
*Ten minutes later...*
Caitlyn: Mommy, can I have a snack?
Me: No Caitlyn.
Caitlyn: WHY??!
Me: Because you just ate.
*Another ten minutes goes by...*
Caitlyn: Mommy, can I have a snack?
Me: No Caitlyn.
Caitlyn: BUT I'M HUNGRY!!!!!
Me: What do you want?
Caitlyn: Can I have gummies?
Me: How about a poptart?
Caitlyn: OK!
*Off she goes with her prize...*
I do believe God handles His children (you and I) much the same way. He whispered into my mind a day or so ago, "When you want something that you're not entitled to or that someone never intended for you, you must insist and persist".
Makes total sense if you look over the example of the dialogue I just had with Cait.
Her objective was to get a snack.
I had no intention of giving her a snack at that moment because it was not TIME for her to eat again.
But her persistence created a new season for her called "SNACK TIME".
Oh, y'all don't want me to preach on this here blog!!
So what does that say to you and I?
The Word of God says in Matthew 7 "Ask and it shall be given you; seek and ye shall find. Knock and the door shall be opened unto you".
I would never want to deprive my child of any good thing. There have been times she asked me for something that I was unwilling to give her. Same goes for her brother. But when what either of them asks me for is something that I know isn't good for them, I almost always present them with two things: my counter offer and an opportunity to ask for something else!
If that doesn't jump start your faith today, I don't know what will.
When you ask God for things, don't despair when it seems as if His answer is no. Persist in prayer. Persist when you know the thing you desire is something He'd be willing to give you. I won't give my children anything to eat if they aren't hungry. However, if they persist in asking for something to eat, I will give it to them because I am more than willing and ABLE to meet that need for them.
WOOHOO!
So, I challenge every reader to ask more, persist more, and believe that God is able and WILLING to grant your petition!
Monday, August 01, 2011
Leaving the Place Called Bitterness...
Let's face it. We've all had something to be bitter about. Whether it's being lied to, cheated on, a bad break up, divorce, or any type of wrongdoing. We've all been residents of a place called bitterness before.
Some of us have dealt with bitterness towards our parents and family members. Some were abused, neglected, and even victims of heinous crimes. Some people watched others destroy their lives, hopes and dreams.
Some people discovered that the people that they thought they knew were never those people at all.
As you can see, Bitterness has plenty of room and places to stay.
I was watching a Dr. Phil show this morning about two individuals who were seeking to confront their parents for wrongs that they'd done. One lady's mother took her on the run for two years. The mother claimed it was because the father was molesting the daughter. The daughter denied this had ever happened and she wanted a chance to tell her mother the damage she'd done and to hear her remorse for taking her through that difficult period of time. The second guest was a man who witnessed his father shoot and kill his mother at the age of 12 years old. While his father maintained that it was accidental, the son recounted his father saying to his mother "I'll kill you if you try to leave". He was also the one his father used to lure his mother back into the house where she was shot.
Both stories were tough to hear, and I'm sure, even tougher to live through.
But I noticed something similar in both stories.
Here's the thing that we don't get when we're carrying bitterness against someone for years and years on end.
The other person is oblivious to our burden.
People who hurt other people aren't thinking about other people! Other people's emotions, feelings, circumstances and comfort doesn't even cross their minds. It wasn't about the people they hurt then, so that probably won't change in 30 years.
What's my point?
Few will ever adequately acknowledge their transgressions against you and even if they do, there is little, if anything that they can do to right the wrong.
So guess what?
Bitterness is a CHOICE.
You can't always choose what happens to you and who does it, but you can decide if you will continue to hold on to it and let it infect every aspect of your life.
Here's the thing about bitter people that needs to be stressed. When you come across a bitter, mean and angry person, you really don't care what their story or their pain is.
Yep, that's right I said it.
No one really cares WHY someone is bitter.
The reason is because bitter people unfortunately become perpetrators themselves. People who have done you no harm or no wrong suddenly find themselves subjected to your negativity and your foul attitude. There may be a reason behind your foul nature, but when someone, who had nothing to do with it, finds themselves having to deal with it, that reason suddenly makes no difference.
Bitterness is deceptive. It is a real emotion but it is an unfair one. It doesn't care who did what to you. It treats EVERYBODY like the one person or group of persons who did you wrong.
That's the difference between people who are bitter and people who learn how to forgive.
Forgiveness doesn't necessarily heal the hurt. But what it does is assign the fault and its debt to the right person.
It's not my future husband's fault that I didn't grow up feeling loved.
My best friend didn't neglect me.
Bitterness gives everyone a bill they didn't create and demands a payment they can never pay.
Bitterness is a irrational response to pain and injustice.
Being hurt is a result of circumstances beyond your control.
But bitterness is a choice.
Choose today to pack your bags and leave the place called bitterness.
Everyone who loves you will be so glad you did.
Some of us have dealt with bitterness towards our parents and family members. Some were abused, neglected, and even victims of heinous crimes. Some people watched others destroy their lives, hopes and dreams.
Some people discovered that the people that they thought they knew were never those people at all.
As you can see, Bitterness has plenty of room and places to stay.
I was watching a Dr. Phil show this morning about two individuals who were seeking to confront their parents for wrongs that they'd done. One lady's mother took her on the run for two years. The mother claimed it was because the father was molesting the daughter. The daughter denied this had ever happened and she wanted a chance to tell her mother the damage she'd done and to hear her remorse for taking her through that difficult period of time. The second guest was a man who witnessed his father shoot and kill his mother at the age of 12 years old. While his father maintained that it was accidental, the son recounted his father saying to his mother "I'll kill you if you try to leave". He was also the one his father used to lure his mother back into the house where she was shot.
Both stories were tough to hear, and I'm sure, even tougher to live through.
But I noticed something similar in both stories.
Here's the thing that we don't get when we're carrying bitterness against someone for years and years on end.
The other person is oblivious to our burden.
People who hurt other people aren't thinking about other people! Other people's emotions, feelings, circumstances and comfort doesn't even cross their minds. It wasn't about the people they hurt then, so that probably won't change in 30 years.
What's my point?
Few will ever adequately acknowledge their transgressions against you and even if they do, there is little, if anything that they can do to right the wrong.
So guess what?
Bitterness is a CHOICE.
You can't always choose what happens to you and who does it, but you can decide if you will continue to hold on to it and let it infect every aspect of your life.
Here's the thing about bitter people that needs to be stressed. When you come across a bitter, mean and angry person, you really don't care what their story or their pain is.
Yep, that's right I said it.
No one really cares WHY someone is bitter.
The reason is because bitter people unfortunately become perpetrators themselves. People who have done you no harm or no wrong suddenly find themselves subjected to your negativity and your foul attitude. There may be a reason behind your foul nature, but when someone, who had nothing to do with it, finds themselves having to deal with it, that reason suddenly makes no difference.
Bitterness is deceptive. It is a real emotion but it is an unfair one. It doesn't care who did what to you. It treats EVERYBODY like the one person or group of persons who did you wrong.
That's the difference between people who are bitter and people who learn how to forgive.
Forgiveness doesn't necessarily heal the hurt. But what it does is assign the fault and its debt to the right person.
It's not my future husband's fault that I didn't grow up feeling loved.
My best friend didn't neglect me.
Bitterness gives everyone a bill they didn't create and demands a payment they can never pay.
Bitterness is a irrational response to pain and injustice.
Being hurt is a result of circumstances beyond your control.
But bitterness is a choice.
Choose today to pack your bags and leave the place called bitterness.
Everyone who loves you will be so glad you did.
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)