Tuesday, November 29, 2011

Accepted...

I didn't know that religion wouldn't and couldn't be a cure for the need to feel accepted.
It's been a lifelong struggle of mine.
I did everything my young mind could think of to be accepted by the ones whose opinions mattered most to me.
They didn't seem to notice.
He never really seemed to accept me at face value.
There was always something I had to do or to change.
Something I needed to say or stop saying.
I just wanted to be accepted.
I didn't know that religion, which promised to bring me acceptance into the brotherhood of fellow religious followers would ultimately leave me feeling even more alone.
When I didn't make it to all of the scheduled services...
When my tithes and offerings fell short...
When I didn't say, do or perform up to expectations...
I was no longer accepted.
When I entered relationships, I kept waiting to hear him say, "I approve. I accept you".
Guy.
After guy.
After guy.
They liked my curves, my smile, my cooking...
But I never felt accepted.
There have been some emotional battles that I've had to fight these past couple of years. Some I've fought valiantly and others, I felt as if I barely escaped with my sanity.
I tried repeatedly to get him to tell me he accepted me.
And then the Holy Spirit whispered to me...
"You are accepted by Me".
Maybe that doesn't mean much to you, but to me, it's like a prison door swinging open on rusty hinges.
I don't have to continue looking for acceptance.
I AM accepted.
In Him...
The Beloved.
And so are You.
Accept His acceptance today.

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