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| March 31, 2011 |
Why?
I'm sure it looks like any ordinary picture I've taken, but there's so much in this picture that you can't see.
I took this picture on one of the most difficult days of my life.
I took it the day I lost the job I'd worked for the last 11 years of my life.
I came home that day and sat in my bedroom alone. It was around 10 a.m., close to 11. I wasn't used to being home at that time of day.
I didn't know what to do first, so I began to call my family.
One by one, their reactions were the same.
Shock.
Disbelief.
Anger.
They asked me was I ok.
I lied.
I took this picture, not even sure why I was doing it.
I messaged my spiritual father and told him what happened.
He encouraged me.
"This is God. Everything will be alright".
God?
Where?
I was hurting badly.
I felt wronged.
I was uncertain about everything.
I didn't know what to do.
So I took out my camera phone and took this picture.
I told myself by faith, and I guess some would say prophetically, that one day, I would look at this picture and feel no pain.
One day, I would smile and the smile would be real and the tears would be gone.
One day, I would understand the Word of the Lord that told me that what I was going through was Him.
I was sitting at the table of my spiritual leaders this past weekend.
While there, I began to talk about feeling uncomfortable and dealing with feelings of discomfort while in transition.
He corrected me and gave me this Word, and I'm paraphrasing: "It's not that you're being taken to a place of discomfort. The process of transition is uncomfortable. But where you are being taken to is a place of greater comfort".
That Word resonated in my heart like a gong.
Greater comfort.
Words can't describe how uncomfortable it is to transition from working everyday for the past 11 years to sitting at home during the day.
There's no discomfort quite like having to explain to two small children why mommy is at home instead of at work.
But each day, I held on to the Word of the Lord that told me what I was going through was from God.
Since that moment in my life last year, this blog has seen major growth. The gift of writing that was given to me by God has started to come forth in greater measure.
Some relationships that were dear to my heart fell away last year.
That was also painful.
But just as the Lord spoke concerning the loss of my job, I realized that all of the changing and uprooting that was taking place within my life was Him.
You can't pray for change and then become surprised when it comes.
There are just some places in your life that will not produce the greatness that God has designated for your life. You have to accept that. My mama likes plants and there comes a time when she has to put the same plant in a new pot. Why? Because if she leaves the plant in its original pot, it will not grow to its full potential. But if it stays in that pot anyway, not only will its growth be stunted, its life will be cut off.
Some things hurt when they are taken away. We feel uncomfortable.
But there is a Word from the Lord.
He will never, EVER take you from comfort to discomfort.
Yes, the transition may be uncomfortable.
But the place you are going to is a place of GREATER COMFORT!
I give honor to my Apostle, Ricardo Watson for that Word spoken into my life...
His leadership, and his covering over my life.
I know what it's like to live without a spiritual covering.
That is why I am so grateful to have one now.
I am thankful for where the Lord has brought me.
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| January 5, 2012. Nearly 10 months later. |
I am one incredibly blessed woman.
God has shown Himself to be everything that I could ever need in 10 months time.
Walking by faith may not be easy, but once you begin, you realize there's really no other way to walk.
It was worth it all to know Him like I know Him now.
I trust Him with the rest of my life.
Great things have been prophesied over my destiny. I am eternally grateful for the prophetic gifts that have been connected to my life via facebook; those who have taken of their time to message me, encourage me and speak Words of life to me in a season of my life that I didn't even disclose to them.
That's when you know someone is hearing from God.
When they can speak into your life without knowing all your business, then you know you've met someone who hears God.
I threw that one in for free.
But as I sit here a couple of hours away from my birthday, my heart is overwhelmed with gratefulness.
He's my Shepherd and I don't want for anything.
He's dried my tears and calmed my fears.
He's given me double for everything that was taken away.
He's lifted my head and given me a new song to sing.
He's been faithful and He's been true.
He's given me leaders, friends, and people that I can trust. People who hear God. People who love God.
I associate with these types of people now.
I have very little time or interest in anyone else.
Tomorrow, I'll spend most of my time doing what I want to do. I'll have pizza with my babies. I'll read all of my birthday wishes and respond.
Under the orders of my dear sister, I'm going to go to bed soon and rest tomorrow. Today I battled a health issue that was probably brought on in part from a lack of rest.
I'm going to do better.
But as I take it down for the night, the overwhelming theme for my 34th year will be gratefulness.
I'm believing God for many things, many wonderful awesome things.
But I will be careful to give Him the praise for everything, great and small.
I'm grateful for every blessing that I have.
I'm blessed with two beautiful children.
Loving family.
Beautiful friends.
Strong, loving and sincere spiritual leaders.
I feel so rich in blessings today.
To God be the glory for what He has done and will do in me.
I have been given so much.
I've learned to depend on Him and to trust His Word.
Change will come. Be encouraged when it does. Embrace it.
You may cry and there may be some difficult days as you transition.
But trust God.
He wouldn't take you from greater to give you lesser.
Greater comfort is your portion.
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