Talking To Myself...

I consider myself to be of reasonable intelligence. If the arithmetic is simple enough, I can handle it. I can form a complete sentence. I go about the care of my children and my home fairly well. But here lately, the Holy Spirit has been bringing things to me that I've simply overlooked or not known at all.
I wrote last year that I endured years of verbal abuse while in relationships with different men. That much you know.
That much I know.
As I sit here, on the other side of those storms, grateful to be out alive and thankful to still be in my right mind, I wondered why I still continued to struggle internally with so many thoughts and feelings of inadequacy.
What's wrong with me?
I know I'm not ugly, even though I was called that many times.
I know someone will want me and love me the way I deserve to be loved one day, even though I was told that would never happen many times.
So why, after all these years in some cases, and these months in others, do I still struggle? Why do I still feel less than free?
Then it occurred to me...
Voids in our lives can be just as painful as what we've placed in them to fill them.
What do I mean?
So you remove the negative relationship with its verbal and/or physical abuse..
But what do you put in its place?
You see, words do have power. The creative power of God was made manifest in the words He spoke.
Did you hear what I just wrote?
The creative power of God wasn't realized until He SPOKE.
His Word has the power to create what He desired. My GOD!
While I had removed the damaging words from my life, I had not replaced them with words with the power to CREATE the me I want to see!
I was silent.
I said nothing to the woman in the mirror who was diminished and battered by words on a mission to destroy her.
Day after day, I stared at what was left of me, not realizing that within me was the ability to create a new me.
The Word of God is quick and powerful... that means the Word of God is ALIVE. If I speak His Word, that power is transferred to me!
It may sound weird or even a little crazy but I'm going to start talking to myself.
If that's crazy, try walking around in a life that is based on someone else's words and living in defeat because of it!
Which is crazier?
Whenever you remove something, you must replace it with something better. That's why when so many people leave tumultuous relationships, they find themselves gravitating to another tumultuous relationship. When someone calls you a demeaning name, it's not enough to say, "It doesn't matter". You must reaffirm yourself vigorously. It's the equivalent of someone who has a cold sneezing on you. Unless you take immediate steps to sterilize yourself, you will become infected.
When you remove something from your life, a void is created. Unfortunately, that void has energy and will attract whatever will fit into it to satisfy its need to be filled.
Christ Jesus is the perfect fit but you must be diligent and know that so many other things desire to enter your life wherever there are voids.
I want His Word to consume me until He fills every empty space.