The Beginning And End...

I love New Year!
 It's just hard to miss the feeling of renewal in the air and the feeling of a clean slate and fresh start. It's hard not resist the energy that comes with a new year and the motivation it inspires.
However, while most revel in this feeling for a while, I have another experience that I must deal with. Friday is my birthday. I'll be 34 years old.
As much as I'd like to spend my time celebrating the new year, I'm also met with the task of facing the fact that I am a year older and assessing where I am in life a lot sooner than others. It's always my turn first as a First week of January baby.
I am a planner. Whereas I don't always write every single detail down, I do at least expect a dialogue about what needs to take place. I like to work things out both in my head and aloud. But if I learned anything last year, it's that my best made plans sometimes didn't get to see the light of day. I've come to accept that although I plan my way, He ultimately orders my steps.
This new year is packed with prophetic meaning and I certainly have my ears open to what the Lord is saying to His people corporately through his Apostles and Prophets. I'm also listening to what He's been saying specifically to me.
For starts, the faith walk continues and the fear walking ends. I can't be afraid to make decisions. The risk of being right far outweighs the risk of being wrong. The odds are in my favor because God is on my side. If He can do this much with my life without my even acknowledging Him or seeking His face for direction, imagine what He is able and willing to do now that I'm willing to seek Him?
Although I've seen some losses in my life in the area of relationships, I've also seen some tremendous gains. I've been blessed with family and friends who love my for who I am and who build me up spiritually with encouragement and prayer. I can't tell you how good that feels.
I wouldn't say that I am happily single... lol! But I will say that I am content. I fully expect to meet someone all in God's timing and I'm open to whoever He desires to bless me with. But I have to be honest...
This is probably going to be the most selfish year of my life.
That's not to say that I will behave selfishly toward others, although anytime some people don't occupy 100% of your time and resources, they label you as "selfish". What I am saying is that this year I'm going to be more in tune with me and making sure that I get the help I need both naturally and spiritually. I turn 34 this year and I'm ready to have something significant to show for that amount of time on earth. There's more to me than what's been seen. When I do find love, I want it to last. I don't want to choke it with unresolved issues. Time to let some things go and be free. When he comes, and I know he will, the version of me that he'll see will be well worth it.
So many things about my life have got to change. There's more to do in life than wait to get old and die. There's a whole life to live and so much to work on as an individual.
I don't think about getting older. I think about growing up. lol! I hope to soon feel as if I'm standing in my full strength as a woman, head lifted, back straight, fearless and confident. No more second guessing. No more doubt and fear. Sure steps. Clear direction. Focus and resolve.
There are a lot of changes that will take place this year and I'm embracing each of them.
I'm ready to kick my life into gear and start living on the level God intended me to live.
Things are falling into place.
Soon, I'll be right where I want to be.