I don't consider myself a dreamer. I've been known to go several months if not longer without so much as a chase dream. But here lately, I've been dreaming a lot. I've had dreams so vivid, I was glad to be awake and others so memorable I didn't even have to write them down to recall them later.
My family's no stranger to dreams either. I can remember as a child my mother mentioning dreams she'd had warning about the death of someone we all knew. Dreams are well respected in my family. I've always known that God speaks to us through our dreams. Sometimes, it's said that's the only way He can get a word in edge-wise. That may be so but I think that sometimes, God just wants to give us a sneak peek, a glimpse into something that He has for us but that we may not be quite ready for. I also think He allows dreams to come so that we'll seek Him first for their meaning. Isn't it funny how we spend most of our time on the phone, texting, talking, online, and face to face asking everyone but Him for answers? Hmm.
I had a dream last night. I really hate to talk about my dreams because I consider them to immensely personal but hey, so is a blog called "Diary of A Baby Mama".
In this dream, there was a man who was completely enamoured with me. I'm talking 100% smitten. I can remember being embarrassed to an extent by his behavior. As much as he liked my physical appearance, he was just as moved by me, the person. Now he was not my type: he was older, not particularly attractive, etc. But I can remember him holding my hand and his hand was so much bigger than mine. I remember more than anything the emotions I felt in the dream more than what I saw: I felt safe, adored, protected, and finally, treasured.
And isn't that the point of it all?
I'm thirty three years old. I'm a long way away from over the hill but far from a rookie. I've been in a relationship or two. Seen somethings. Lived some things. I've seen women that I'm related to and women I love as dear friends experience the joy and pain of relationships. I've seen weddings, births and funerals. I've even seen separations and divorces. But one thing I haven't seen much of is a love that tells God "thank you". I'm talking about a love that comes after a storm, at the end of a long, dark night, and breaks forth like the dawn and shines on everybody who sees it. I've known one couple like that and it's given me hope for my own life.
I've tried to take a practical approach to love and relationships. I've gone down the rabbit hole of fantasy before that immerses you in movies and music videos but leaves you empty and disappointed in the end. I've tried to take a more straight forward approach to love. I don't have to expect to be beaten or abused but expecting to be adored, honored, and appreciated? That's a bit much, don't you think?
I know I'm not the only woman who feels that way.
If I was, I'd see less problems and more testimonies.
Truth is you'll never have more than you can believe for.
NEVER.
I didn't believe I could be loved, honored, respected, adored and desired, all at the same time, by the same man.
Didn't believe it.
And then God gave me a dream. Let me see it. Feel it. Prepare for it.
I'm not saying that I'll be married by the end of next year and I'll meet the man of my dreams by the end of this one. God isn't my genie in a bottle and I'm doing my best not to rub Him the wrong way with my doubt & unbelief. I am saying that the dream gave me hope and my hope gives me the faith to believe what I cannot see. Just because all I've seen is pain, disrespect, disregard and failure in love doesn't mean that's all that's there. Faith is my other set of eyes. It causes me to see what I haven't seen before and wait patiently until it shows up into the natural.
So keep dreaming ladies.
Blessed is the one who hasn't seen but yet believes.
I've got some faith focals on.
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