Bad Boyz

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He cheats. He lies. He won't come home at night. He has other children with other women while he's supposedly in a committed relationship. He won't keep a legitimate job. He's a hustler. He's a "dope boy". He's gangster.

He's a bad boy. And oh, how we love bad boys. I've seen otherwise intelligent women (myself included) fall under the spell of these men, completely captivated, and at times, appearing to be addicted to them. Maybe there's something intoxicating about being with a man who's always two steps ahead of the law, living on the run, and always in need of at least $150 and never faithful.

But let's face it though. His alternative isn't very appealing. We all know the good guy well. When we were in school, he was the one who carried our books for us and never got asked to the prom. In the workplace, he's the guy who shows us how to work the copier every week. He's the nice guy, the nerd. He's the guy who brings absolutely no surprises to the table. He is consistent and predictable. He is stable and secure. He's honest, he's willing to love us the way we deserve to be loved. He's also unattractive in comparison to the bad boy and just plain BORING! lol!

But bad boys are expensive, both financially and emotionally. He is looking for a sponsor, someone to fund his poorly executed plans and someone to turn around and clean up the aftermath of said plans. Bad boys are like investment property with more problems than the buyer realized. You set the budget at $50,000 and a short while into the renovation, you're already at $70,000 with no working kitchen and no end in sight. Bad boys are EXPENSIVE! I repeat: EXPENSIVE!!!

Yes, bad boys are more interesting. When you're in your 20's, high speed chases and cat fights in the middle of the street make for good facebook status updates and youtube clips. But once you hit 30 and older, it doesn't look like anything but the PROBLEM it is.

Here are some things single women should keep in mind before dating a bad boy:

•  What am I afraid of? Most women who repeatedly go for the guy who can't seem to stay faithful and shows little interest in doing so secretly have commitment issues of their own. Maybe you're trying to avoid being hurt again. But seriously, is wasting the best years of your life with a man who won't honor and protect you doing what's best for you?


• It's time to require more from your relationship! Most women who hook up with bad boys say they want a good time and enjoy the thrills and sometimes chills involved in dating an unstable man. But the truth of the matter is that many women have simply given up on having a standard for men due to disappointment. But relationships are not recreation. The right relationship can change your life for the better. Likewise, the wrong one could change it permanently for the worse. You can't afford to take your love life casually. You also can't afford to allow a person who is out of control to be behind the wheel of your life and destiny.

• Do I want my daughter to end up with a Bad Boy? While it may be justifiable to entertain such a man while you're a single lady, the stakes become even higher when children are involved. You are your children's main role model and their first lessons on relationships come from you. If you don't want your daughter being taken for a dangerous ride or your son flexing his bad boy muscles, it's time to figure out if a few moments of passion are worth it to your family.
  
•  Ask God for a good mix of spontaneity and predictability in a man. We don't need a thug but we don't want Steve Urkel either. Let's find the happy medium in prayer. We want to be with someone we can enjoy this earthly life with as well as someone who edifies us spiritually. God knows our needs and desires. The important thing is that we seek Him first, even when it comes to who we should be involved with.

If your life is currency, then a bad boy is a high risk investment. There's more to lose than there is to gain by getting caught up with him. If he does happen to make a turnaround, how much will it have cost you? I'm not telling anyone to leave their bad boy if they have one. Pray for him. But above all, pray that God's will be done in YOU. After all, why would a "good" girl want a bad boy?  It's time to take inventory.

Pray that the man after God's own heart would be the man that comes into your life.  If your bad boy isn't changing, give him your love, say good bye and move forward into your divine destiny that is filled with the blessings and favour of God. Don't hide your life behind a bad boy. It's time to live the victorious life that God has planned for you!