Who Cares?

One of the biggest mistakes I've made in my walk with the Lord is taking on a very negative attitude regarding how my Heavenly Father deals with me. It is so easy to behave like a spoiled brat when the God you serve is so generous. What if we were docked 10 beats of our heart per hour when we fell short or 15 seconds of breathing every minute? One of the important things I had to learn about God is that He is not spiteful. I may be at times and those I may have to deal with occasionally may be, but my God isn't. He doesn't return to me what I give to Him.
He's not out to get me.
That's hard to believe when you've been sold a religion all your life that tells you to see God through a lens of "good" and "bad". Yes, it's true that God is good. But as my spiritual leader, Apostle Watson so eloquently put it, "God is good but He isn't nice".
Wow. Ain't THAT the truth?
Think of it this way. I consider myself to be an ok mom...lol! Well, for the sake of this blog entry, I'll call myself "good". But when it comes to my children, and moments of discipline, I don't always appear to be nice. However, I am still GOOD even when I must discipline them. If I was a bad mom, I wouldn't correct the behavior that could lead to their destruction in the long run.
I've been guilty of treating God like a glorified vending machine. I press F-2 and wait for my delicious honeybun (which I DO NOT eat anymore, thank you... lol!) to come rolling down into the bin. But instead, granola rolls down. What happens? I throw a fit! I bang on the machine, shake it, curse at it, and call it broken. If God were a vending machine, there would be something wrong with Him if we asked Him for a honeybun and instead He gave us granola. But He's not a vending machine, or a genie or a slave to our wants and desires. He is a Father and it is His responsibility to give us "good and perfect" gifts.
I can't tell you how many times I've made a decision my children didn't agree with and laughed, sometimes aloud and told them, "I don't care how mad you get. BE mad. It's still not going to happen because it's not good for you!" Any parent worth his or her salt knows that it's almost impossible to do the right thing by your child without becoming the bad parent in their eyes.
IMPOSSIBLE.
At some point, whether it's the kicking, screaming toddler or the cursing swearing teenager, a parent must accept the title of "enemy" to their children. Parenting requires patience. There is some suffering involved. You have to know as a parent that although they can't see it now, one day, they will see the wisdom of your words and the love in your correction. They will see for themselves the pitfalls they were spared because you loved them enough to be the bad guy. Some children may even apologize for being so disrespectful in their state of immaturity and ignorance.
But most parents who love their children won't think much of it. Instead they realize it comes with the territory and are thankful that now, with the passage of time, their children have grown in maturity and understanding and are now able to make their contribution to the world.
I can't tell you how many times I've been tempted to sink into the well of self pity. Does anybody really care about what I'm going through? Does anybody see how hard it is to be a single mom? Does anyone give a flying flip about everything I have to deal with in a day? An hour? Per minute?
It's easy to assume God doesn't care when you get down to pray, push F-2 and expect for your honeybun prayer to be answered.
But what if what God desires to send into your life is far better and superior to what you're asking Him to give you? If He is the One with the advantage of foresight and omniscience,  what kind of God would He be if He gave you less than best? So if He doesn't send the honeybun that you requested, can you see past the denial and trust Him for a better answer?
God sees everything you go through. You're not some distant dot on the face of the planet that is barely seen under a microscope to Him. You're as near to God as the palm of His hand. Your ways are ever before Him. He's intimately acquainted with you and knows your thoughts a long way off. There's no escaping Him. He's honed in on you! So before you take up a case against Him, remember this about Him. He cares about you. Everything in your life is a result of His care. Even in difficulties, His mercy and grace can be seen. Even in disappointments, His love is evident.
When you pray, it is important to keep a few things in mind. Most of us pray in a sort of "auto pilot" fashion. We pray out of habit, but make no real heart or head connection to the words we speak or the One we're talking to. So here are a few things to keep in mind when you pray:
You are heard! Sounds simple, right? Well, you'd be surprised just how easy it is to forget that God hears you when you pray to Him and He's LISTENING. You're not talking to the ceiling or even to yourself. You have His full attention when you come before Him in prayer. Because of the shed blood of Jesus Christ, we enjoy access to the Father and are recipients of the abundance of His mercy and grace. Come before Him understanding this and your prayer life will begin to change for the better.
You are loved. Again, sounds like a no brainer, right? But far too many of us come before God almost ducking for cover, expecting lightning bolts to hit us at any given moment. Many of us feel punished by God through our life's circumstances. We assume that when adversity comes, it is God's wrath. Here's something you should know: Those God loves, He chastens or "corrects". God can use adversity to correct us but it is NEVER an act of His anger. Trust me, if God were completely angry with you, you'd be CONSUMED, wiped out... NO MORE. If you're still here reading and blinking, you can rest assured that God isn't angry with you. He loves you and if something is happening in your life that feels too difficult, He desires to walk with you through that circumstance and show you a better way to live. Receive the correction of the Lord with gladness. Realize God is FOR you. This is important because if you can see God for the loving God He is, you'll stop seeing everything in your life that may not line up with your idea of perfection as His displeasure with you.
So the next time you feel tempted to exclaim in frustration, "WHO CARES?!", believe with all sincerity that GOD cares. He cared enough to send His very best gift to you, which is His Son, Jesus Christ. He is committed to your perfection, your maturity and your growth in Him. He may have found you in a mess but He will not leave you in one. Sometimes your life feels like it's being turned upside down and sometimes, it actually is. But this is only because He must remove things that hinder your advancement in the long run. Some things make you comfortable but they do NOT make you better. God is not angry at you or waiting to stomp you flat. He may not be nice, but He is ALWAYS good. God cares and you need to know this today. It doesn't matter how many times you've messed up and missed. Come to Him and believe that #1, you are heard and #2 you are loved. It's time you allowed God to be more than a vending machine that's marked "out of order" in your life. Allow Him to be who He's always been, and that's your Heavenly Father.

Surface Cleaning...

The expression "surface cleaning" is immediately understood by busy moms and homemakers alike. There are days when cleaning things only on their surfaces is a major achievement! With so many obligations to meet, busy schedules to juggle and lives to manage, surface cleaning seems like an easy and almost necessary solution.
Here's why I hate surface cleaning.
I've moved a few times in my life. As far as I'm concerned, I keep a moderately neat home. However, without fail, when it's time to pack up and move from a space, everything that was hidden beneath the surface of things: behind the fridge, under the bed, between the dresser and wall, suddenly comes into plain view. It's quite unbelievable just how much stuff can accumulate under beds, sofas, chairs and dressers over a period of time. You can clean the surface faithfully and daily...
But if you overlook what's underneath the surface and WITHIN it...
You're missing a ton of debris.
Matthew 23:28 puts it this way: "In the same way, on the outside you appear to people as righteous but on the inside you are full of hypocrisy and wickedness".
Jesus was referring to the scribes and pharisees in this particular discourse but it bears mentioning and application to our own lives. At some point, we've all been guilty of living religious and good looking lives that appeared to be all together lovely on their surfaces. But once our lives were held up under the light of God's Word, the cracks, dents, and dirt became more and more evident. Once the Water of the Word begins to wash us, we begin to see all of the filth and debris our hearts have held on to for so long.
Surface cleaning is quick and easy.
But surface cleaning doesn't clean.
It deceives.
God wants to move us from a life that looks good to a life that IS good. He wants to not only cleanse us from all unrighteousness but to make us righteous. His plan for us is to give us a future full of hope and authenticity in Him. The life that we live through and by His Son Jesus will be real, whole and genuine.
The inside will match the outside.
No more dealing with just the surface. No more being content with appearing to have it all together while internally, we're falling apart.
 No more whitewashed tomb living.
No more surface cleaning.
It's time to allow the Holy Spirit to cleanse us thoroughly and deeply in Truth.

Mad Men...

One of the things I strive to be in this blog is transparent. Well, let me be transparent about my single life and dating experience. It has been dreary. lol!
A lot of fuss is made of women being bitter, angry, wounded, hurt and broken from past relationships and past hurts. We have movies about our anger, plays about our pain, and novels about our issues.
What you don't hear a lot about is what many women like myself have encountered in our singleness: that is the Mad Man.
These are the men who while in the first few conversations of getting to know you can't stop talking about their ex wives or their ex girlfriends who ran off with the mailman or emptied his bank account and left him homeless and sleeping in his car.
This is the man who no longer sends flowers or makes any real effort to date or court a woman because after all, women don't appreciate such niceties and mistake kindness for weakness.
These are the men who make no effort to impress the women they initially show interest in. They text instead of calling directly over the phone, they make no effort to assist the women by so much as opening her car door or carrying her heavy bags and the ones who proudly declare that chivalry is dead because women killed it.
These are the men who cast a suspicious eye in the direction of any woman who tries to show him any genuine care and concern. He's always waiting for the other shoe to drop. If a woman is "too nice" to him, she's obviously a con artist who's trying to play him for a fool. He's the guy who falls madly in love with a woman who curses, swears, calls him everything but a child of God, won't give him a glass of water in a hot burning desert, and treats him as if he's completely disposable. He camps out in front of her door begging for a drop of her attention, while the woman willing to honor him gets ignored and left on the curb.
He's the man who's decided that marriage is for losers so the best thing to do is let a woman treat him like she's his wife while giving her just enough hope to keep her hanging on. He's the man who cannot be bothered with talk of deeper commitment, and will quickly retort, "If it aint broke, don't fix it". He's the man who doesn't say "all women are bad"... he says all the right things, but he keeps his heart and true motives under lock and key so the woman he does bring near to him never truly knows where she stands with him and he never truly tells her if their relationship is significant to him. He's the man who is present but completely emotionally unavailable.
Most single women of maturity will tell you they've ran up on some Mad Men a time or two. It's not just a certain age range anymore. Young and old, rich and poor. There are just as many Mad Men as Angry Women.
Why am I writing this?
I'm writing this because often the emphasis for deliverance from the pain of our past is placed on women. But I believe the church needs to change this dynamic to include men.
There are just as many men suffering from emotional pain and damage as women, and arguably, there are more because most suffer in silence. Their pain is masked in anger issues, substance abuse and promiscuity. A promiscuous man is socially acceptable but that doesn't mean he isn't hurting and broken just like a promiscuous woman.
If you are a Mad Man or know a man who is, I encourage you to pray for that man, specifically that God would heal the pain of his heart. These men are our fathers, brothers, pastors, husbands, uncles and leaders. These men serve as our law enforcement, our judges, our military personnel and our educators. When you think of it like that, you begin to see just how important it is for these men to be healed and delivered.
Maybe you were married to a Mad Man once before. Maybe the father of your children is a Mad Man. Maybe even your brother or best friend is a Mad Man. His relationships never seem to function as they should because of the pain he harbors either from childhood or the relationships of his past. But there is hope! Many women have emerged from brokenness into the Light of God's glory and Grace. Many women have come to know that the past is OVER in Jesus. They no longer have to live as slaves to their past or the people who created painful memories. Some women had several men hurt them but because of the delivering power of God, they have not judged all men and have gone on to live happy and fulfilled lives in healthy relationships.
Deliverance is available to all...not just women.
Mad Men can find peace and joy too.
If you are reading this and are a Mad Man, I pray that you will reach out in prayer to God. I also pray that you would reach out to a trusted clergy member or counselor. You don't have to live in this prison of anger and frustration. You don't have to pass down a legacy of pain, violence, absence, and promiscuity to your sons and daughters. You can be free. He whom the Son sets free is free indeed!
Today could be the beginning of a new chapter in your life.
If I were you, I'd take that step and end what has been a long life of pain to walk in the brightness of a hopeful future in Christ Jesus.
You don't have to be a Mad Man.
Be God's Man.

A Word Of Encouragement...

It's been a moment since I last blogged. I apologize for the delay. Things have been a bit hectic around my way. I just finished a 21 day fast last weekend which was intense. Also, I've been working on my book which has been one of the most challenging projects for me to birth. For some strange reason, writing comes easily but writing a book specifically has presented a challenge to me. I do believe that's because a book is another level where God desires to take me. Of course we know that new levels bring new challenges. I won't say "devils" because I aint claiming that! lol! So when I do get a creative writing flow, I've been devoting my energy and efforts to my book. So many of you have told me personally that you would support a book if I wrote one. I don't feel pressured by this (hehe) but I do realize that it is another ministry tool that you all could put into the hands of men and women that you feel could be blessed by it who may not necessarily want to log into a computer and read a blog entry. Those of you who care, please continue to uplift me in prayer and ask that God would continue to open up a door of creativity so that I can give birth to this baby book!
I do believe it is going to be GOOD and so far what I've written has never been seen by you all before and is straight from the throne room of God. I believe you will be blessed. Continue to pray and support. I will blog as much as possible during this season but if you don't see updates from me as often, at least now you know why.
I wanted to encourage you today to remain focused. Distractions come in so many forms and from so many sources. Destination finds its root in the word "destiny". To to have a destination is a place to go; to have a destiny is to arrive there. So many things pop up in life to get you off your journey. Let me give you an example. Maybe at the first of the year you were determined to achieve a certain weight loss and fitness goal. Now, here we are in March. You look up and realize you haven't been to the gym and you're snacking on hot buttered yeast rolls. Yea, that's a problem. lol! A distraction is anything that takes your eyes and ultimately your attention away from your original intent and destination. Sounds can distract you. You turn your head and move your eyes in the direction of the sound. It isn't your ears that lead the body but your EYES. When your eyes are fixed on the place you want to go, the body has no choice but to follow, no matter what the ears are picking up or even the nose is smelling. As long as the eyes remain fixed, that's where the body will go.
I want to encourage you to keep your eyes fixed on Jesus despite any hardships and challenges you may be facing today. Maybe you've received some grim projections on your job or maybe your family life is in complete turmoil. Whatever the case may be, recognize when circumstances are attempting to divert your eyes away from the destiny that God has promised you. Constantly assess your situation and your position in life. Are you walking where you declared you would or have you gotten off course? We must constantly be on guard and recalibrate our steps to fall in line with the Word of God and His ultimate plan for us.
Don't be distracted. Dissolve distractions.
Keep your eyes on Jesus and continue on towards your destiny!